Tuesday, March 22, 2016

Poem Lyrics: The First Time Seeing

The First Time Seeing
(working title)
By Kandice Kathleen Zimbleman (Black UniGryphon)
©2016 All Rights Reserved 
Rough Draft Lyrics/Poetry






The first time........... (echoes)
               -though these eyes......... (echoes)
                                 I ever witnessed this place........ (echoes)

The first time........... (echoes)
               -through these eyes........ (echoes)
                                 I ever saw this face............ (echoes)

The first time........... (echoes)
               -through these eyes.......... (echoes)
                                 Ever seeing this place.......... (echoes)

The first time........... (echoes)
               -through these eyes.......... (echoes)
                                Ever seeing your face........... (echoes)


Your face........ (echoes)

                     The first time........ (echoes)
                                        The first time......... (echoes)

My face........... (echoes)
                ...........The first time......... (echoes)




You can also find this poem/lyrics published to my DeviantART gallery.


Well, these lyrics here would probably not make much sense without the visuals. the emphasis is on the "FACE". "Face" its self has a lot of meaning.... but, also this is another song for Djehkäujaa, my dragon character but this is when she unfortunately becomes a humanoid form, much to her horror, and her own stupidity & comeuppance that she will regret for the rest of her life.

This song is meant to be Djehkäujaa's voice, but she will not be actually lip-sync singing this one. It will be like a voice-over, but as a song.

The lyrics are just a simple pattern with variation and reverb, to be to-the-point simple yet effective.

It is almost "garage house" sounding with a lot of echo & reverberations.

It will mostly rely on conveying the mood by some echoing piano and layered repercussions, as well as some sound effects, bass, perhaps wobble bass. I'm not sure if I will use a 2-step beat or not. Altho' I want this to be a very heavily European sounding style, I also want some eastern vibes/elements to it also...

Think of it this way: imagine she is in a desolate wide open prairie or savannah landscape, I was thinking more like the planes in Mongolia... but, my story will be an entirely other world. And, Djehkäujaa is literally grounded. No more flying. Her wings fall off, and burn away like acid and steaming clouds of fumes.

And, she looks at her own face, not the face knew herself to be...
A different face. Shock, despair, trauma...

That's what this is....

Monday, March 21, 2016

Poem Lyrics: Free Flying Heart (working title)

This month was crazy, and sometimes I kept questioning whether I also might be going crazy...

I have a lot of my creative stuff forcefully coming out of me. It was pretty difficult at times. But, hey, the world is insane... and I guess I'm "doing crazy things" like making art, music, and poetry.... scandalous, right?

The main bulk of stuff spewing out of me is orbiting and flowing from my old screenplay I wrote in 1999, and conceptualized starting in 1997-1998 as a teenager.

I stopped trying to fight this intense bout of either creative inspiration, or utter madness of loosing my mind...

I tore up my house looking for old storyboards and portfolios, as well as stacks of music and CDs, and various other things to make it stop affecting me.

At 1 point I felt myself going mad and weeping because I felt so terrible. Society put this "little thing" inside of my mind to tell me I should be ashamed and embarrassed about these things.... But, then I looked around at Society and saw death, malice, destruction, greed, hubris, strife, unrest, and realized society was COMPLETELY INSANE.

Screw Society... I'm not trying to maim, torture, kill, celebrate guns & bombs and wars, and hurt or destroy the planet and fellow human beings...

So, I think I'll do my "crazy stuff" of art instead.
Me, and my "stupid dreams".


I knew what I wanted for this scene, but I didn't know what song quite fit it, and I also didn;t want to use someone else's song.... and, then, I couldn't stop fighting it, and I also didn't want to cry anymore... then, my hands grabbed my notebook, and a pen, and words started coming out as I could faintly here fragments of flowing music inside of my mind....

After I did that, I felt much better....

Then, before I knew it, I'd written for sets of lyrics...

This was the first one.

I'm not so keen on the title tho'.
It's just a rough draft, concept, work...

I'm pathetically ignorant about composing music... :(

Anyways, I've published it to Deviant Art, and also to my other art blog.

This song is supposed to be for my character Djehkäujaa , the dragon as a humanoid form, while on the deck of the pleasure cruse zeppelin. 

I have a few different versions of it in my mind.

But, I might also want a 2nd small song for this part,because I want to convey/express 1 mood, then a change, and I think 2 different songs would be better...

I want this entire part to be electronic, but with dubbing, and 4/4 beats. I would also like it to build up to the final part... which ends on a more somber tone, and you can see this poem/song/lyrics has 2 different parts/segments. But, these 2 segments are 1 composition.

It's not set in stone, yet, tho'....

(Some vintage Storyboard thumbnails)

Free Flying Heart (working title)
By Kandice Kathleen Zimbleman (Black UniGryphon)
©2016 All Rights Reserved 
Rough Draft Lyrics/Poetry 
(Also on DeviantArt)


I dreamed I was the wind,
And a Part of the sky,
And then when I awoke,
Remembered I once could fly.

What do I do?
What have I done?
Foolish and selfish mistakes!
Careless and empty! -thinking it's fun!

I am the obstacle of myself,
Find a way to overcome me!
Somehow I can reach it,
My heart wants to finally fly free!

I miss you,
All free in the sky.
I miss me,
That part of me longs to reach up high!

I've been stuck being down,
Solve this puzzle somehow!
And untangle my wings to fly back up!



****

Feet un-grounding, and leaving the floor,
Good-bye to the underworld!
Wind one with me, I'll start to let go!
Now I feel my wings unfurl!

Let me stay forever among you!
Forever the clouds and sky!
Keep me always with you!
Never let us say good-bye!



Good-bye...... (echoes)
               ........good-bye..... (echoes)
                                      ..........good-bye....... (echoes)

                                                 Bye-bye-bye-bye.............. (echoes)

When will I be ready?
When will I be done?
When will it be finished?
               All I can do for now is observe you all.
               Fly away,
               Into the setting sun..........




Friday, April 24, 2015

Nixies Inspired (2 Tailed Mermaids)

I keep intending to do my blog entry about my "Black Unicorn" symbolism, and then finally, a following entry on the whole Black UniGryphon symbolism... but, I keep getting sick every few weeks. It's enough to make me crazy. But, in truth the one about the Black Unicorn will take quite a long time, and no doubt take at least a whole day, or longer just to type up... and quite a lot of energy...

Regardless, I've been busting from the seems this month despite being sick twice. I gotta go back AGAIN to the doctor tomorrow...


But, I've already written a bit on my Main Art Blog. <----<<<


This is a bit of a spin-off from my oldest project/concept which is my "Eyewitness" endeavor.
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED!!!!!!
Artistic DirectI cannot express my absolute, and utter distressing paranoia, nor what it feels like other than panicky, of someone trying to steal or rip-off my ideas on a corporate level, or even a community level, before I ever get a chance to do anything with my own ideas... and I've seen it happen a number of times already.... and I do not want to get into the details of it either... because their are legal issues with "inspired by" which is a legal way of taking someone else's ideas.

I feel less panicked about my Eyewitness project because people gloss over it, and can;t think so much in concepts that tend to brows the internet... it just looks like a mess of stuff to people, because they can't see the whole picture... also since I tend to keep most of the ideas, stories, and concepts to myself...

But, my double tailed mermaids/nixies/Melusine stuff really catches the eyes of people... another reason why I ONLY publish rough and unfinished versions of it...
Despite my paranoia, the inspirations for this newer directions of this stuff has been taking on its own life, growing and expanding all year, but especially since March and early in April...

I just kept seeing the images inside my mind... some were vague, and then they kept floating around in my mind, and I became lost in day-dreams, and the little Nixies would become more... It would just seem that as they kept swirling about in my mind, while I lay sick in bed, I kept having the urge to draw or sketch, and kept fighting it... but, the more I fought it, the more it continued until I finally had to sketch something....

I figured nothing would happen, and I'd just scratch around with my pencil.... but, I began researching all kinds of images to help me reach my potential visions to pour out onto the page...

This was the one that really wanted to come out, big time. This was on my mind the entire month, and there is much more to the scene (think cinematic and animation). But, I spent over half a day on it, and expected to me done with it......

But, the ideas had ideas of their own... and next thing I knew, yet another sketch came out....





This is only a quick gesture sketched page which only took a few min to do, but I was shocked at how easily it just HAPPENED onto the page... I've been so out of practice, so I was shocked that anything at all would happen!

But the "energy" and the momentum of the whole situation just kept swirling about me, like a vortex....

and, it was as tho' any video, or peice of media I'd come across would be JUST THE THING to sparck something else from it, and me.

My original concept had JUST been about a short musical piece with the Nixies as a small animated short for my "Eyewitness" project. I wasn't sure exactly HOW I would fit it in, but I had some vague ideas... on the other hand, I still wanted to do my own version of a Fantasia like the one from 1940. But, yet again, I had no clue about how I ought to EVER do that.....yet.

But, this whole Nixie thingy is starting to become its own version of a Fantasia-like performance of short performances....

I have a number of other concepts, and they ALL involve music. I already have very clear concept of how I want the music to sound, be composed, and a number of details.

And, what came very abruptly full force into my mind was a concept for my Diva Nixie Melusine.

She isn't quite done yet, but, she is getting there...




She will be very large, and like a Colossus, and bronze with dark "big hair' which is VERY CURLY and bushy, and very voluptuous, with muscular arms, and preform (effects animation) magic theatrical tricks with minimal animation on herself.
I almost even have the words of the main song she will sing.

I want her to have a voice similar to Alison Moyet.


I also have a "black and white" piece I want to do, which will take a while to work out.

I also wish my Nixies to be viewed as ART, and not low-brow cheap trash.

If I had my ultimate wish I would create my full length theatrical version and premiere it in Vienna, with a full orchestra symphony with electronic components, and dancers.

I have concepts for animated shorts, a theatrical full length version, and a mini-series version, as well as a "kid friendly" version. But, also as a live dance show/concert version with 2 types; a dressed down version, and a full theatrical, dramatic version with props, and puppets.

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

Tokyo Otaku Mode Inc.
Artisteer - DNN Skin Generator
Toon Boom Animation
Toon Boom Animation

Monday, April 20, 2015

SOME CHICK HAS MY CHARACTER'S NAME!

OMG! Who the heck is this chick, Blake Lively??? Her birthday is 2 days before mine, and Lively isn't even her real name, but articles called her by name as "Lively"!

Apparently, her real name is Blake Ellender Brown! 

And, she's a hair bleacher!!!!! ARG!!!!! 

Hey! No stealing my stuff! I made my character, and her name back in Middle school in the early 1990s! 

I'M THE REAL LIVELY!!!!! 

I've never even heard of any of these movies, either! No wonder I've never heard of this chick! 

I'm SO MAD!!!!!!!!! 
I'm the original!

Saturday, February 14, 2015

Smashing Hearts!

So, on a morbid note, I have no idea why, but on the past few years I've had this gleefully morbid thing I do: drawing smashed n broken hearts in February... I guess it's because Saint Valentine's day is very commercialized, and I;d rather do stuff for my kid, that even tho' I like Romance, and Romantic things or ideas, I sort of hate Valentine's Day.

So, I have a cheeky, bratty, smart-alec part of me wants to come out..




Here's Vince & Andy (Erasure) smashing a HEART! LOL!


For my daughter, I made this ULTRA SIMPLE heart which u can also share on Deviant Art if u wanted to...


Anyways.... It's Chinese New year, and we're more stoked about that rather than Valentine's, but my mom bought everyone some T-Shirts in Fort Worth... she's a sweety lately.

Wednesday, February 11, 2015

My Personal Symbolism of the Unicorn: Later Childhood

Tokyo Otaku Mode Inc.
Intro:

When I was a very young child I was very terrible in my school studies and grades. I had A.D.D., but they didn't test for it. They just said I was "learning disabled". This seems a really strange sort of idea, because I was actually very bright, and today among my peers I'm usually referred to as "the smart one", "egg head", "Geek", "nerd", or even in derogatory as "know-it-all". But I was also highly sensitive (and still am). I have acute senses, such as sight, hearing, sense of smell, and taste, and I was a very finicky child, because my sense of taste and smell were so sensitive that I couldn't handle too much flavors in food, or most strong smells, and chemicals in paints, the gasoline stations, and cleaners would make me VERY SICK with extreme headaches, or severe nausea. My parents told me I was "being overly dramatic", but my English Grandmother, my baby brother, my Aunt, and my daughter also have this. I was easily distracted, and my mind is very busy, and fast, while I can often think about several things, without realizing it simultaneously, and also be hyper aware of things around me in detail, such as birds outside the window, cars that I can hear far away but others can't, and tags on my shirts or pants were so irritating to my skin that I had to cut all of them out as a child. My daughter is the same way, but she has ADHD and has a more acute version of what I have.

I also had a VERY major ability, or habit, to day dream. My day-dreams were so real, and so vivid that I could totally "blank out". I was totally awake, and my ears were aware that I could hear things occurring around me, like inside a classroom, and I could see everything, but my attention and focus would become so immersed in my day dreams as tho' it was real life. I actually KNEW the entire time that I was daydreaming, but I would also day-dream about my actual situation within reality, and my imagination would just run away with it. I would day dream about the desks and chairs growing very tall, and we would have our lesson at the ceiling, or that I could go outside with the birds and squirrels, and fly away with them, or that the classroom became a musical. I could sit still, generally, but I could sometimes fidget. But, I could just NEVER get my school work done, ever. Unless a teacher was doing it with me, I couldn't finish anything..... unless it was interesting, like art.On the bus rides to and from school, I would stare out the window and imagine unicorns running along side the bus, or out in the woods, meadows, etc.

I also doodled on all of my worksheets, papers, and notebooks. I didn't draw on my desk like "naughty kids" did, nor in my text books, because that was "naughty" and according to my religion at the time, that was seriously bad & sinful, because it was vandalism. The Sunday schools I had gone to had scared me so badly, so I never drew in any textbooks, or school property, nor any kinds of graffiti, especially if it was communal or public property which belongs to everyone.

When I was a baby/toddler my parents and family often told about how as a child, I never crawled. I just stood up one day, and started walking. It often seems like a metaphor or theme in my life, because at many points in my life, many things were just skipped over, and I found myself doing things people whom were older than me were doing, or people with more experience were doing. That's kind of because I was a prodigy at many things, even tho' I didn't know it. I couldn't understand why I could do things my peers couldn't or even things most adults also couldn't do. Well, in my Kindergarten they noticed some things about me, and when my Mom told them I never crawled, and just stood up & walked, they were concerned, so they made me do lots of trials, tests, and leave my classroom for "therapy" to make me play games to crawl around. It was thought that this would increase my abilities with hand-eyes coordination.However, being that I could draw exceptionally well, I don't understand why they thought this "hand-eye coordination" thing.

Why would they do this? Well, I had trouble with many letters such as the letter "d" and the letter "b". I couldn't always tell them apart. (I also HATE IT when people write the number 2 like a backwards 6.) I used to write my name as "Zindleman" when it's actually "Zimbleman". I couldn't tell the difference until someone pointed it out to me. Also, my acute sense of sight allows me to fixate on objects better than most people, and I have above average eye sight, however I am more farsighted, meaning I can see very well things far away. The muscles in my eyes that people use to read are the muscles I use to visually see every day. Therefore, I read VERY SLOWLY. The speed at which I can read is about slightly faster than the speed of reading out loud... that's slow. (But that doesn't mean I'm "slow" in the mind at all.) Altho' I tend to be very much a "visual learner", I am also, very much an "audio learner". (In fact, one of my favorite things to do while working on my projects, or art projects since the 2000s was to download free audio recordings or Podcasts of lectures from colleges, universities, or various educational audio records or audio books, and have them play while I was doing my art, or projects, because I could easily learn & absorb the information by ear while doing working with my hands, and doing other things. I think anyone could eventually also learn to do this over time.)

Well, all that testing I did, which was rigorous but disguised as games and playtime, was partly to determine whether I was dyslexic. That was in the early 1980s. And, I was tested several times over the years. They determined, officially, that I was not dyslexic. The trouble is all of the tests were visual, and I am an artist. So, naturally, I passed the tests with flying colors. I found out when I was about 17-18 that I actually was dyslexic, but there was no category for what I had. I'd also discovered that many artists were undiagnosed dyslexics. I don't need glasses to read, but I had reading glasses because reading too much can hurt my eyes, and give me terrible headaches when my eyes become exhausted. But, I often read, especially online.

The other thing I loved very much as a child was Science, especially DINOSAURS! I memorized everything I could about dinosaurs, and I could also pick up vocabulary words very easily. (later in my teens I used this skill to learn languages on my own, and to self learn, or self teach) I could learn music very easily, and played violin, and the recorder (a woodwinds instrument), and briefly played guitar in music class.

By the time I was in 6th grade, I was put in a small experimental class, of 3 girls, and 3 boys in which the girls competed against the boys. It was in that classroom that I realized I was actually much smarter than I thought. I also realized I could out-think, and outscore people in science, or debates in social studies.

It was in those classes that we were motivated to do quite a lot of work, but also on our own. Sure, the teachers, and aids were always there to help us, guide us, or nudge us, but I was often motivated to do it all on my own. I'd done things on my own before, but this really put it into perspective, and in a format. I was also on the Honor Roll frequently by then.

One of the assignments we had was to choose a NONFICTION BOOK of ANY TOPIC and to write an entire report on it. 
I was very clever... I liked Unicorns, and I found out there were some Nonfiction books about the folklore of unicorns in historical contexts. 
One of the books was "The Truth About Unicorns" by James Cross Giblin. And, that was when I learned about all the folklore of Unicorns throughout history. (BTW: I got a A++)



LEGO The Lord of the Rings
Empire: Total War - Gold Edition
Folklore: The Unicorn And The Maiden

Since ancient times allegories were very popular. In Europe in Medieval and Renaissance periods these were exclusively only allowed to be of religious meanings. Anything that was previously pagan would be changed to mean Christian, or Biblical meanings. Many symbols included lions, unicorns, dragons, maidens, the sun, the moon, the stars, swords, Holy Trinity, birds, and many other things.

Specifically the Unicorn allegorically represented the Christ, or Jesus, as well as The Holy Trinity.

A common theme was the unicorn, which mentioned in the Bible was fierce & deadly when provoked, but in the lore of the European Unicorn was that it was male, an innocent. If you wanted to catch one, you needed a Virgin, or Young Maiden, to lure and entice the unicorn. Then, The unicorn would see the maiden, fall in love and wander over to her, and fall asleep with it's head in her lap. Once it was asleep, the unicorn was vulnerable, and could be slain, or captured.

Unicorns were known to preform miracles, such as healing all ailments, transmuting poisons and venoms, and purify the air, water, and food. Thus, the alicorns (the horns of the unicorns) were highly prized for it's magical and divine abilities to allegedly do all of these things. (The alicorns were actually usually tusks from Narwhal wales, elephants, or Rhinoceros.)

Ergo, the slaying of the unicorn was fraught with Romance, and Romantic themes of being "betrayed by love", "innocence", or sacrificed to death to heal humans. Songs, poems, stories, and artwork depicting these themes were common at the time, tho' most are lost forever.

Ye Olde Unicorns of Yore, were always white, hence the religious allegory of Christ. The white symbolized the "pure", "purity", "untainted", "sinless", "virginity", "uncorrupted", "innocence".

Unicorns were often depicted alone, wandering around the wild, and could be depicted as gentle, and elegant, but very fierce when attacked. They had VERY long alicorns (horns) which was supposed to represent the connection to God in the Heavens. The tail was like a lion, and the body was dear-like, with cloven hooves, and a head like a horse. They could also be depicted slightly goat-like as well.

The Maiden could represent those things also, but could also represent Mary, whom was the Virgin Mother of Jesus Christ. These themes are full of all kinds of symbolisms, allegories, and meanings. That style was meant to be that way. And, to look into the artwork was to notice all of the things in the pictures which meant many things. This was how they would "teach", or minister to the illiterate masses.

A film from the 1980s was "Legend" by Ridley Scott (my favorite artistic director) which depicts many of these themes. The luring of the unicorn by a Maiden, innocence,  the slaying of a unicorn. Light vs. Darkness, love, etc.


Thus began my own incorporation of this theme into my own artwork. 

Unicorns almost always seem to be associated with young maidens, girls, or even children. Well, hopefully NOW you know somewhat about why. If you want to learn more, you can read the book I mentioned above in the blog entry.

In that same book I also learned about other varieties of Unicorns in various cultures, like China & Japan.

Other books which I found were very good: There was an issue in the mid 1980s of a children's magazine called "Cricket" which had many of these folklore stories about many kinds of unicorns throughout world history including Asia. And a similar book called "All About Unicorns" which was also a hardcover Nonfiction book. (I also wrote another report based on that book about a year later.)

This traditional European white unicorn was very apparent with me, and used quite a lot by me, and I was totally fine by it. But, it started to shift to Black Unicorns. I never thought that would happen because I was religious when I was younger, and the ideas about black vs. white seemed concrete... but, all of that shifted when the symbolisms expanded, and changed...

But, I think I shall save THAT for another entry of it's own.