Lively's Name: Of Native American Princesses & Comics

So, here you can see probably THE last sketch I ever did of Kestrel & Hedrol, before I was ready to have them totally merged, and her personality totally developed... It was a transition...

I know it's THEM, but to me, the 1 in the lower corner is more of who Lively is. Both of these figures were drawn on separate pieces of bond paper, then rubber cemented to another paper, and I hand drew the background. Then I edited this illustration in Photoshop 5.0 or 5.5 in college when I 1st learned the program.

Also, the top female figure, I think, might've been inspired by a Michael Turner drawing... I honestly don't remember. But, the wings were drawn separately on the paper she was rubber cemented to. The figure on the bottom was actually drawn WITH the wings, and was a challenge to cut out with my exacto knife.

I made this picture in high school, if u can read the date on my signature, but I played with it a number of times in various versions of Adobe Photoshop....

Let's talk about 2 Native American Princesses:

Princess Pocahontas, and Sacajawea

PRINCESS POCAHONTAS: 
Anyways, like I said before, my nickname in Middle school was "Pocahontas" because I was very into learning as much as I could about my heritage. Many kids went through similar things, only they never got picked on, or bullied, as much as I did. And, since, back then, I was a  Christian, I wasn't supposed to fight back, and just forgive them, bless them, and pray for them. But, I did a report on Pocahontas in Middle school, and I found a really great book by Jean Fritz. She seemed to be the 1 author that actually did the best, and most thorough research. Her book was called "The Double Life of Pocahontas". And, this was BEFORE Disney ever anything Pocahontas....
The first time I ever read the book, it was the hard cover version in my library. But, someone actually GAVE me their paperback edition, with a VERY lovely painting on the cover!

I'd done loads of research on Princess Pocahontas, so I knew lots of trivia about her. I knew what her real birth name was (Matoaka, which meant "Little Snow Feather), I knew her Christian name "Rebecca Rolfe", which she was named after a story in the Bible when 3 tribes of different races were united because Isaac married Rebecca. I knew stuff, like the place she was buried in England, the name of the town she grew up in, in Virginia, and things she liked to do, such as play with English boys & do cartwheels, or taught them to play follow-the-leader. In older source materials such as those by Jean Fritz, (before Disney) they translated the name Pocahontas to mean "Lively" or "Frolicsome", but if u watch the stuff by Disney, they seem to think it means "Little Mischief". 
When I did the research, I came out with what Jean Fritz says. So, I don;t know where, nor why Disney has it their way... but, ever since Disney put it out there as that, people think that's what it means. 

But, since I lived American Comics, and art, I used to save my money and buy art supplies. I even made my own Posters of what I thought Pocahontas might look like. I did several versions, and hung them on my bedroom walls, or doors, some I colored with markers, or paints... And, I searched the local municipal library for ANYTHING I could find of her. Books, encyclopedias, articles, whatever... and, that was BEFORE I even had internet in 1994... but, evn the internet barely had any info on her... I've found better intel on my own, honestly... 

But, Princess Pocahontas was a REAL person. She lived, and died. She was married twice (that we know of). Her 1st husband literally WAS named Kokoum, whom was a scout for the British military, and he got killed. But, this person did so much in her VERY short life. She lived to be only about 21 years old. 

In the 1990s, even tho' I was a Christian still, I was starting to switch more to be not only more secular (because I was an environmentalist) but also very New Age.... It was a popular movement at the time... TV shows like "Unsolved Mysteries", "X-FILES", or "Crossing Over With John Edward" were very popular, and I became very open to Pagan cultural ideas, or "Free Love", modern ideals, all clashing and crashing into each other... so, I was very curious about ESP & Psychic phenomena, which runs in my family, but also caused me lots & lots of trouble in my personal life.  

There seems to be an uptick in popular culture with The Paranormal and The Super Natural, which were very popular. When I was a teenager, I used to have dreams about Princess Pocahontas, or that I was making my own cartoon movie about her, and it was very action-comics like, similar looking to "Batman The Animated Series". I started to read books about Dream Interpretations, ESP, Edgar Casey, Nostradamus,  and other New Age topics as well... so, since I valued my Native heritage, it all seemed very meaningful to me as a young person. (However, I've since then cut ties with so many of those groups, or communities, due to too many liars, frauds, charlatans, lunatics, and so on which have poisoned the pool, and have shined such a negative light on it, that even credible folks, or genuine events have becomes so tainted with stigmas. When I got more involved with politics, I realized associating with those topics, or groups ruined my credibility. But, even among well meaning folks in those groups, they refuse to do real due diligence. ) 

Sometimes in the mid 1990s, around the time when Aladdin came out, there was an article printed in The Burlington County Times (NJ News paper) and Disney had put out a statement about their newer projects coming out, or being worked on. Back then, the usual time to release films was Thanksgiving & Christmas time... juts like: Oliver & Company, The Little Mermaid, Rescuers Down Under, Beauty & The Beast, and finally Aladdin. I was a HUGE fan of Disney animated films! (And, I idolized Glen Keane. I used to try to find stores that would sell issues of "Animation Magazine" hoping to find some mention of ANYTHING about him!) In the article, they said they planned on putting out some films, and even named their NEXT 2 films as "Pocahontas", and then "China Doll", among some other ideas, which I don't even remember anymore... 

When it was printed in the news paper, EVERYONE told me about it! I FIRST heard about it from my MOM! She even cut out the article and gave it to me! 

Then, next thing I knew, people (adults) were calling me at home just to tell me they read about it in the news! Then, I went to school and the TEACHERS were like: Kandice! I just read about Disney's new movies coming out in the news! They will be doing POCAHONTAS! 

I walked around in school, and the hallways, and in the lunch room, and people would run over to me calling me by my nickname "Pocahontas" and saying: I just heard about Disney doing their next movie! It's gonna be Pocahontas! The funny thing was, even the bullies whom were always so eager to make my life a living HELL actually came up to me and said: Hey! Did you hear that Disney's next movie is gonna be Pocahontas?

So, when Christmas came out and NO animated Disney film was in the theaters, I was really bummed.... Next thing I knew, that summer, from out of NOWHERE came: THE LION KING....

Wait... What????

Talking lions???

But, somehow, that film got SO MUCH hype that virtually EVERYONE I knew wanted to SEE that film! EVERYONE had the soundtrack CD before it was even released into the theater... and, back then, most people were Middle class, so going to the movies was IN, and going to a see a film multiple times, was something to brag about. I knew kids (and adults) that went to watch The Lion King multiple times, and collected special ticket stubs... (That was before Titanic, which was even crazier...) 

So, I STILL had all my hand made, original, American comic book looking Pocahontas posters on my walls in my bedroom... (I honestly wish I still kept those... they probably suck compared to what I could do now, but everyone gotta start somewhere...) 

So, then, I was, of course, drawing animals, like Lions from The Lion King, but, I would get bored... and I drew X-MEN, including men or male figures. I drew Wolverine, The Beast, Sabertooth, and my favorite Nightcrawler. 

Meanwhile, at The Cherry Hill Mall (NJ) there was a "The Disney Store", and I couldn't always go there, unless someone drove me there... but, most people only drove as far as The Moorsetown Mall, which sucked, because more than 1/2 of that mall had burned down in a fire, and was constantly under construction, plus I even had a job there at 1 point... so... why would I ever get to go to the Cherry Hill Mall? -which was further down that same highway... 

But, 1 day, I happened to be at that mall... I think it was because I'd lost my job, and my Mom & her boyfriend wanted to "go bumming" as they called it, which was usually window-shopping, looking for deals/bargains, and often involved drinking a soda or eating something like a pretzel and sharing it... 

The 2 most popular things FOR ME to do RIGHT AWAY were: Tower Records, Taco Bell, The Comics Book stores, Suncoast Video, Wild Pair (the shoes store), The Limited, and then there was of course The Disney Store... 

As we got to the mall, we all split up,  and decided to meet back up later, at a certain time, and probably eat something...

The funny thing about The Disney Store is that most of the products in the stores were made for adults... but, today, it's mostly for little children...

But, that day, I headed STRAIT to The Disney Store, because it was THE ONLY one in that WHOLE area, and NO OTHER SHOPPING MALL had one.  

Among rows and rows of glass shelves covered with bricka-bracka, all sorts of Disney items, figurines, or rows & racks of clothing, like jackets, T-Shirts, and more, the place was packed. It was difficult to move around in there, and I'd ONLY ever been there (at the time) perhaps 3 or 4 times EVER... 

Walking into the store was like: WOW!

In the back of the store was this giant wall that was a video screen, or maybe it was made of several screens stacked together in a grid... or a projector... I don't remember specifically... I just remember that there was this GIANT video always playing in the back of the store. It would play everything from trailers, to interviews of Roy, to musical clips of the songs from any given Disney film...

As I was walking into the store, which was massively huge, I looked at some things with Aladdin characters, or The Lion King, which was EVERYWHERE... I heard 2 girls talking... apparently they worked there, but 1 was not on the clock. The girl that walked in said to the girl who was in uniform "Did they play my song yet?"
And, the other girl said, "No. It hasn't played yet. It's probably coming up next. Stick around." Then, they all laughed and chatted, and walked around the store...

In my former religions, as I was raised, it wasn't considered nice, nor good, to eaves drop... but, I could hear their joyful jokes & laughter all over the store. So, I felt odd... Yet, I wondered what they meant... 

Then, as I turned, as if by fate, and faced the wall with the large video screen... and my eyes beheld THE MOST beautiful thing I had EVER SEEN, and HEARD THE MOST BEAUTIFUL SONG EVER! At that moment "The Colors Of The Wind" began to play from the new Pocahontas film! It was my VERY first time ever seeing it! And, the workers in the front of the store began to holler to the other girls and said: 
"Oh my God! Tell her, her song's on!" 

Then, both of the girls began singing along with the song! The girl that was off the clock had SUCH a lovely voice as well! 

I came back to the store again, after I ate, and the song JUST happened to play when I brought my mother with me, and ALL of The Disney Store employees were singing the song too! 

The artwork of the Disney character of Pocahontas was so UNLIKE anything I'd EVER seen! 

Here was this strong looking, very ethnic featured, beautiful woman. 

Then, began my mad dash, obsessive search for ANYTHING I could find about the new film! 
 I watched The Disney Channel day & night... Why? Because a few times I would go to the bathroom, only to miss what I was looking for, then obsessively watch for WEEKS hoping to ever see it again! 

I watched the News Papers & magazines like crazy! 

Then, when I found out that THE supervising animator & designer of Pocahontas was none other than my idol Glen Keane I blacked out and fainted! When I finally woke back up, I started crying & jumping around screaming, or laughing! I sort of lost my mind from excitement! 

Then, my MOST obsessive, most admired, most enthusiastic ordeal with ANY Disney film EVER, had begun! 

I bought almost EVERY magazine I could that had photos, and info in it! 
I bought the Marvel Comics version based on The Disney Film. 
I had the "How To Draw" book of Disney's Pocahontas! 
I watched EVERY TV promotional special ABOUT the Film! 
I CRIED because I couldn't get a ticket (or a ride) to see "Pocahontas In The Park" which was the world premiere of the film in New York City! I cried because my (little brother) drug dealer brother got to go to concerts like Lollapalooza to sell drugs, but I wasn't allowed to see a great work of art. 

I drew the Disney Pocahontas on EVERYTHING!: 
My math papers, my books, my napkins, my yearbook, on the bottom of 1 of my shoes. 
I bought stickers, shirts, jewelry. 

And, people would give me their magazines, and Pocahontas stuff. It was so funny, because even people that didn't like me, would have Pocahontas stuff, and come to me and give it to me, saying: Well, I know you like this, and I don't want it, so I thought maybe you might like it... Honestly, human beings are so strange and confusing sometimes, especially in NJ.... *shrugs* Anyways, I still have some of my old vintage Pocahontas memorabilia. 

When I was in college, many people would comment that my work often looked very Pocahontas-ish... or Disney-ish... but, when I'm among people whom mostly do Disney-like art, that tell me my art looks very Marvel Comics-like.... or Comicbook looking... Whatever... they're the same company now... 

But, actually, if you look at Pocahontas, and Lively, they are nothing alike... I didn't want Lively to BE Pocahontas... 


But, as I mentioned, as all of this Pocahontas stuff was going on... Lively didn't have a name yet... 

But, I'd stopped doing Kestrel & Hedrol because of the Disney Pocahontas... I was crazy about it!

Sacajawea:

Now, let me tell you about the OTHER Native American Princess.
Before Disney's Pocahontas came out, when I started high school at BCIT Medford Campus NJ (which was a high grade Vocational school that you had to take tests to get approved to attend) I'd heard of Sacajawea briefly in Middle School. BUt, not much... 

When I started at that school, my MAIN reason for attending that school was the Graphic Art program which was called "Advertizing, Art, and Design". But, that teacher has a horrific car accident, so I couldn't take the exploratory classes, nor the tests to get accepted until January. 

Meanwhile, I had to take at least 3 exploratory classes anyway. A number of teachers really wanted me in their "shop". A difficult one to get into was the Veterinarian shop, and strangely enough not only did a number of the  older girls in there like me, but that teacher, whom liked NO ONE also liked me... But, something about being there just felt off to me... Then, I'd observed how the older students treated to younger students, and even tho' they CHOSE me as someone they deemed that they liked, I felt like I was dying inside... So, I think I made up some excuse to switch to a different shop for the final exploratory like: Oh, my asthma is bothering me here... 
The teacher liked me because, lets just say, I sometimes have a way with animals, and leave it at that... She wasn't happy that I left, tho'. 
Then I switched to "Printing" which involved old school printing presses, plate making, old school photography & dark room processing, as well as computer text graphics. The other exploratory I took was Horticulture.

Even tho' I would still be allowed to take the Art/Design exploratory in January, I still had to pick a final shop as my "Major".  It was a no brainier for me, even tho' all of my exploratory classes' teachers wanted to keep me really bad, I'd already made up my mind after the first day of being in Environmental. It was EVERYTHING! Ecology, NASA, Meteorology, Biology, Biosphere, cutting edge technology. The students were the MOST diverse! We even had a very strong-headed, mouthy, opinionated Muslim girl in there. What a character she was! *memories*

So, for 1/2 a year, I studied all aspects of Environmental sciences. I honestly LOVED it! We had so much freedom in there, and my teacher was very respectful to me. He treated me often more as an adult, even tho' he knew we were all kids. But, he still would get peeved that some people wouldn't step up and be responsible. He said if they didn't do their work (because he wouldn't make them, very much how it is in college classes)  that they would be put on "Project Wow". (That means you get kicked out.) His favorite lecture that he used to say almost every day was this analogy of the train at the station, and if you weren't there when it arrived, it would leave without you. Back then I thought that was a great motivational ideal... but, when I got older, as the world economy began falling apart, it was that sort of thinking that caused me to have a nervous breakdown, because I was so hard on myself thinking I need to be more perfect, and wasn't good enough, and would beat myself down mentally every day... 

Anyways, it was 1 of my friends in that shop (Environmental) that told me he was also part Native American too. (There were a number in that school just like me, and even in that shop, whom have Native American Heritage. Most people had Cherokee ancestors, or Shawnee.) But, this particular friend of mine had done much research into many Native American famous figures in History. He told me he also liked Pocahontas, but that he liked Sacajawea better... So, since he was older than I was, I respected him, and whatever he said. 

I'd already had a boyfriend in the Environmental shop, but it just wasn't going well, and I felt unhappy & uncomfortabel with it. So, I ended it, and I never wanted to date another person in my shop again.... except, after I left Environmental to go be in "Advertizing, Art, and Design" having passed the exploratory, the tests, and got accepted, I started to like my friend more and more... 

He used to hang out with me in school, and talk. But, he had a girlfriend. But, then, one day he dumped her... after that, he began flirting with me, hugging me, and he even asked me out to go shoot pool with him and his friends (guys from the varsity soccer team). He liked so many of the same movies I did, including action movies, Jackie Chan, etc... So, at spring break, he told me he was working on a (sophomore) project, and he was doing Sacajawea, and he asked me if I could draw something of her for him. He even told me he wanted to take me to see Disney's Pocahontas when it came out in the theaters in the summer.

So, that whole Spring break, I was at my local municipal library searching for images of Sacajawea. It was VERY difficult to find. Then, during the last 1/2 of the break, I was sketching the drawings. I did 3 of them.

Then, when spring break was over, I gave the 3 drawings to him. He was so impressed that he showed everyone, and everyone knew about it. And, I really couldn't help myself, but ever since that happened, my heart started to really fall for him. It was the very first time I'd ever felt anything like that before. I'd never had such feelings for a guy before...

Next thing I knew, after a number of weeks, he kissed me in a locker room, and suddenly he was my boyfriend! I couldn't have been more happy in my whole life at the time! I was so enamored with him! He was hugging me, and holding me, and when he kissed me, I had all these emotions & feelings that I'd never experienced. (Not even with my previous boyfriend.) It just seemed so perfect! He even called me "Dear" or "Darling". He stood in the hallway with me before school would start for homeroom, and he even put his jacket on my shoulders. He kept mentioning his ring... so, I thought he was going to ask me to wear it on a chain on my neck... 

But, then.... on the 3rd day, just after everything seemed to be getting better and better, and was SO PERFECT, he just up and dumped me.....

He said he still liked me, but that he just wanted wanted to be friends....

It hurt so badly... I think I cried every day for about 3 months strait from the heart ache... about a week or 2 later... he had a new girl friend... and a year later that girl dumped him to be a with a woman... 

But, he wouldn't even BE my friend, even tho' he'd insisted to me, and looked in my eyes, and said he still valued me & my friendship... For the rest of high school, he just really wasn't my friend at all... he didn't even talk to me... and, the rest of that year, I actually redid my entire rout to my classes so I wouldn't have to pass by him in the hallways, or stairwells, because if I saw him, I would experience this very physically painful sensation. It hurt, everywhere. My neck would tighten, and my throat would constrict. My stomach would hurt, and I felt like crying... 

Oddly enough tho' I ended up working with him at a movie theater in my Senior year, and we actually DID become friends again. I was even friends with his wife at the time. And, I still consider him a friend, and I respect him very much. But, I'm just SO glad I don't have any more of THOSE kinds of feeling for him... I'm SOOOOOO glad they wore off! :D Ha! 

But, anyways, it was during that time when I did the research to find the images of Sacajawea, that a number of very interesting things happened to me! Many many synchronicities...

As I started doing the research, for which, at the time it was SO difficult to find any info, and MOST encyclopedias had the INCORRECT versions of her life, or versions & translations of her name, that I began to have (what to me, at that time, I'd felt like it was a spiritual & psychic experience) many many dreams of her...

The dreams I had of Sacajawea were unlike dreams I would normally have. They were far more vivid, colorful, and filled with these very emotional sense of bliss & euphoria, or a feeling of ecstasy. 

In the dreams, she came to me and she talked to me. She dressed in beautiful Shoshone formal clothes. Often white buckskin, or brown, and ALWAYS with a beautifully woven blanket, in many colored stripes, of some sort. She would move her hands, and make signs (sign language), but also dance with it... 

Each night I would go to sleep, and I would have a NEW dream of her. After the 1st week, she would start to arrive in my dreams by singing to me. Her voice was absolutely beautiful. 

Then, more and more her songs, and performances of these songs became more & more elaborate. At 1 point, she came to me in a dream standing on some colorful cliffs, and behind her were colorful clouds, with different colored lightning flashing, and moving to her music, and her song. She had her blanket, and she wore her hair down.

When I would sit and talk with her, I found she had a very friendly, and helpful disposition. She was very calm, and even tempered, but also very sweet, and kind. 

She told me a story about a "big fish" on the beach, because she was known for the Journey West in The Lewis & Clark Expedition, and in my mind I saw a carcass of a rotting beached whale, bones & all, and seagulls. 

She told me that she knew I liked to see the hair down and long so she didn't wear her hair in braids for me. 

Then, she told me other names she had, other ways people would speak her name, and different meanings it had... And, she would show me a large medal with a man's head on it. She also said that she made things, and taught other people how to do it too.

She also told me that she was very old, but she looked younger than she was, and she didn't die young like Pocahontas... 

She also sang for me in different languages, but I couldn't understand any of them... 

The songs were so beautiful, but almost haunting that I could hear them in my head for almost 1/2 of the day, but then I would forget them...

She also told me she was a Princess, but also a slave.... 

I even dreamt of her the week when Pocahontas had it's World Premier in NYC in the park. She said she was happy for me that I valued my heritage. 

At the time when I'd had the dreams, I didn't know what to think of them because none of what she was telling me was in any of the encyclopedias I'd read. 

But, about a year later, I had to do my (sophomore) project, and I chose Sacajawea as well... But, I found a more in-depth investigative book, in our high school library (hard cover). It turned out that most of what she told me was TRUE! 

She did have multiple names & variations, and even Lewis & Clark couldn't figure out how to pronounce her name, let alone spell it! When the expedition got to the Pacific Ocean, there was a dead beached whale. The Corps of discovery ,as the expedition group was called, DID in fact give out medals to the Tribes on behalf of "The Great White Father" which was President Jefferson, and HIS face on the medals. 

Sacajawea is also sometimes spelled Sacagawea. It generally translates to mean "Bird Woman", but in another Indian language it means "Boat Pusher" which is what she did, because the Corp. would try to use boats or water ways to go West when exploring the Louisiana Purchase Frontier. 

It also turns out that the young girl who died in the fort that was believed to be Sacajawea wasn't. It was her French Canadian husband's other wife, of which he had many. 


She herself actually went to live with the Comanche nation  which speaks a similar language to Shoshone (leaving her French Canadian Husband). She lived to be about 100 years old, looked much younger than she actually was, and had several generations of children, grandchildren, great grandchildren, etc, and she even had 1 of the Jefferson Medals, and told the story of "the giant fish" (whale) on the beach as accounted in Lewis & Clark's journals. 

On the expedition, they brought their own music, and played music that was similar to square dancing, and folk music. So, I don't know if that's what the musical connection was. *shrugs*

It also turns out that even tho' she had been abducted and forced into slavery, her brother became the Chieftain of her Nation, which means, Sacajawea was a Princess. 

I was pretty blown away when I read the book and found out that what someone in my dreams (Sacajawea) was telling me was true. Yet, I had no way of knowing was actually true when I had the dreams, and they didn't make sense at the time, until I read the book.

I kept dreaming of her off & on until I was about 20 years old... then, that was it... No more dreams... 

But, she influenced me as an artist... I felt that I had a difficult time trying to really capture her in my art...  I could get close... but, for a long time, I couldn't quite do it.... 

But, when I became so obsessed with drawing the Disney Pocahontas, that actually helped me... 

-and, after a long time of drawing Pocahontas, I wanted to draw Sacajawea... I wanted to draw what I saw in my dreams... but, I felt frustrated... I do actually have SOME of the old drawings I did of her somewhere... 

I've always wanted to do a short musical of Sacajawea, which is why I did animation projects of Sacajawea in college, which won awards...

When I was younger, Sacajawea was more meaningful to me... 

I'd even designed my own version of a Dollar with blue ink in "Advertising, Art & Design" shop... then, when I graduated high school and went to college the government LITERALLY put HER face on the new Dollar! 

The Golden Dollar! 


I had a number of Sacajawea synchronicities back then!  

I won a bookmark contest at BCIT, and my PRIZE for first place was THE paperback edition of the Sacajawea book I read in the library! 

I was blown away by the librarian! I think she was partly Native American too, and I think she secretly had ESP as well... it was this kind of thing that was OK to talk about back then... but, today, it's not... So, I don't talk about it... anymore...

But, I remember when she handed me the prize. There was a small party of the participants of the contest, which included pizza, cake, soda, and a large salad thingy on the table that you could pick & choose from, as well as plates of various cookies & pastries. 

Usually prizes were gift certificate's to fast food & book stores... But, not only did I get those, she handed me this wrapped present, Because I won Grand Prize, and I'd even had my work exhibited in Congress, and had 2 NASA medals for my paintings.

So, when I unwrapped the gift, I was floored. "How did you know?"

She looked at me and smiled: "I just know."

So, I gave her a big hug! I honestly, barely even knew her, so I was REALLY shocked. I didn't even think she liked me.

Human beings can surprise you sometimes, ya know? 


But, those were the 2 influences which helped me in the making of Lively... AND HER NAME...


But, at this part of the whole ordeal... oh dear, LIVELY still doesn't have a name yet! 



If you didn't catch it by now, there's a HINT in the Pocahontas section of this blog entry... Most artists catch it... but, not everyone else does... ;)

But, I haven't even gotten to THE OTHER BIG influence on Lively yet!

The EUROPEAN ONE! 
Rave! Eurodance! Germany!

U didn't know THAT, did ya? 

Well, Lively is quite a mix of EVERYTHING... but, that's yet another blog! ;P