The Original Graphic:
I reworked, re-painted, re-colored, and edited this in Adobe Photoshop CC 2018 & Adobe After Effects CC 2018 last week.
Some are longer Meditative loops, and it's basically my process as I was tweaking it:
Here's the original version I did several years ago:
You can find this on my DeviantArt Gallery.
I was suffering from very bad depression, AKA Heartbreak, and around 2009 was when I was going through some major changes within myself. That year I'd realized that many persons whom I'd believed were my friends, were not actually friends, but "friends", or fake friends. I'd also been going through some doubts about whatever my beliefs were, or what I'd thought they were. I'd already known that the government and political system was already flawed and broken, and you didn't need to watch X-FILES to know that... but, the new president at the time, whom I was very happy to have elected, had broken several of his promises, but talking about that made you persona non grata. It was also the aftermath of the Bail-Outs and the economic meltdown. I'd wanted to be at CAL-ARTS by that time, but was screwed by the economy.
Since governments, relationships, society, and even history came into question, things like religion, spirituality, and theology also did.... things just weren't adding up.... accountability was an actual thing. And, I became very enamored with Philosophy, ethics, and epistemology.
I remembered sitting at out cart/kiosk in the mall, with my sketchbook, trying in vain to sketch something. ANYTHING! And, NOTHING came out. It was THE MOST depressing thing! To be an artist, and award winning one, and not being able to draw. I cried EVERY DAY and at night. And, the ache was in EVERYTHING. Sometimes, I didn't eat.
I had NOTHING to look forward to, and all ANYONE ever had to say about ANYTHING was: Your daughter -blah-blah-blah... that NEVER cheered me up. It's a VERY sexist assumption, and I don't know whether it's worse from women or from men... but, I got it on all sides.
Then, out of nowhere, I gave up sketching, and just randomly doodled something only to have THIS show up on my paper.
I'd used this artwork for an album cover on 8Tracks.
The Original Sketch:
If you would like to create your own experimental graphic with these, color it in Photoshop, or print out and hand-color whether for fun, practice, or educational purposes you MAY do that, but NOT FOR PROFIT. I did license the sketch versions to the Creative Commons so you could do that.
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| Original Graphic |
I reworked, re-painted, re-colored, and edited this in Adobe Photoshop CC 2018 & Adobe After Effects CC 2018 last week.Some are longer Meditative loops, and it's basically my process as I was tweaking it:
Here's the original version I did several years ago:
I was suffering from very bad depression, AKA Heartbreak, and around 2009 was when I was going through some major changes within myself. That year I'd realized that many persons whom I'd believed were my friends, were not actually friends, but "friends", or fake friends. I'd also been going through some doubts about whatever my beliefs were, or what I'd thought they were. I'd already known that the government and political system was already flawed and broken, and you didn't need to watch X-FILES to know that... but, the new president at the time, whom I was very happy to have elected, had broken several of his promises, but talking about that made you persona non grata. It was also the aftermath of the Bail-Outs and the economic meltdown. I'd wanted to be at CAL-ARTS by that time, but was screwed by the economy.
Since governments, relationships, society, and even history came into question, things like religion, spirituality, and theology also did.... things just weren't adding up.... accountability was an actual thing. And, I became very enamored with Philosophy, ethics, and epistemology.
I remembered sitting at out cart/kiosk in the mall, with my sketchbook, trying in vain to sketch something. ANYTHING! And, NOTHING came out. It was THE MOST depressing thing! To be an artist, and award winning one, and not being able to draw. I cried EVERY DAY and at night. And, the ache was in EVERYTHING. Sometimes, I didn't eat.
I had NOTHING to look forward to, and all ANYONE ever had to say about ANYTHING was: Your daughter -blah-blah-blah... that NEVER cheered me up. It's a VERY sexist assumption, and I don't know whether it's worse from women or from men... but, I got it on all sides.
Then, out of nowhere, I gave up sketching, and just randomly doodled something only to have THIS show up on my paper.
I'd used this artwork for an album cover on 8Tracks.
The Original Sketch:
If you would like to create your own experimental graphic with these, color it in Photoshop, or print out and hand-color whether for fun, practice, or educational purposes you MAY do that, but NOT FOR PROFIT. I did license the sketch versions to the Creative Commons so you could do that.
