I reworked, re-painted, re-colored, and edited this in Adobe Photoshop CC 2018 & Adobe After Effects CC 2018 last week.
Some are longer Meditative loops, and it's basically my process as I was tweaking it:
Here's the original version I did several years ago:
I was suffering from very bad depression, AKA Heartbreak, and around 2009 was when I was going through some major changes within myself. That year I'd realized that many persons whom I'd believed were my friends, were not actually friends, but "friends", or fake friends. I'd also been going through some doubts about whatever my beliefs were, or what I'd thought they were. I'd already known that the government and political system was already flawed and broken, and you didn't need to watch X-FILES to know that... but, the new president at the time, whom I was very happy to have elected, had broken several of his promises, but talking about that made you persona non grata. It was also the aftermath of the Bail-Outs and the economic meltdown. I'd wanted to be at CAL-ARTS by that time, but was screwed by the economy. Since governments, relationships, society, and even history came into question, things like religion, spirituality, and theology also did.... things just weren't adding up.... accountability was an actual thing. And, I became very enamored with Philosophy, ethics, and epistemology.
I remembered sitting at out cart/kiosk in the mall, with my sketchbook, trying in vain to sketch something. ANYTHING! And, NOTHING came out. It was THE MOST depressing thing! To be an artist, and award winning one, and not being able to draw. I cried EVERY DAY and at night. And, the ache was in EVERYTHING. Sometimes, I didn't eat.
I had NOTHING to look forward to, and all ANYONE ever had to say about ANYTHING was: Your daughter -blah-blah-blah... that NEVER cheered me up. It's a VERY sexist assumption, and I don't know whether it's worse from women or from men... but, I got it on all sides. Then, out of nowhere, I gave up sketching, and just randomly doodled something only to have THIS show up on my paper.
I'd used this artwork for an album cover on 8Tracks.
If you would like to create your own experimental graphic with these, color it in Photoshop, or print out and hand-color whether for fun, practice, or educational purposes you MAY do that, but NOT FOR PROFIT. I did license the sketch versions to the Creative Commons so you could do that.
I don't know what inspired you the most. But, yes, I am incredibly inspired by the Old Disney fairy-tales, and American Comics & SciFi, But, Macross Plus is so lovely.!
I know this is a blog about my OC, Lively, but there's so much meaningfulness to this film.
Recently, I came across a review in which someone claimed that whole reason for making the Macross Plus project was kind of like a "middle finger" to the production of "Macross 2". Allegedly, the creator saw what a piece of trite crap it was and became motivated to create something of high quality, like a masterpiece. Altho' people in the 20th century would utterly laugh at the idea of anything Anime as being a masterpiece, but this one is just a cut above.
But, this guy explained that's WHY there's a film version and a Mini-series version, as well as an "International Version" (AKA the English language version).
This doesn't fall too far out of line with some Japanese personalities, whom value how they are persevered to others, or have an honor/shame culture. I lived in China several times, so the idea that a Chinese person would be bothered by loosing face with his/her art or creation is quite a real thing, so for a Japanese artist to have a reaction like that, and they're considered even more staunch than in China, it does sound believable.
Allegedly, the mini-series version was to show how the creator REALLY wanted his vision portrayed, even with a simple story in a series style. Then, re-cut & even some audio re-recorded in the Film version with different music.
When you watch either the film versions or the mini-series versions (and I've seen several versions of them) it truly does have a cinematic look & feel. They really took their time on this with gorgeous story board layouts, and the use of colors. The cinematic detail is epic.
They really did lots of homework & research on creating it. They studied photography compositions, and mimicking lenses like wide angle & fish-eye. The background pans are incredible, and use of light. The colors are incredible.
This film also came up with the virtual idol concept (Sharron Apple) which literally inspired "Vocaloid" which is a singing computer program. The Vocaloid creator allegedly came up with it in 2000 when inspired by the 90s film.
This film has inspired quite a number of other things, so I've heard. It was also cutting edge in it's day in it's use of blending 2D + 3D. And Macross/Robotech was ground breaking for it's 1st interracial cartoon marriage on TV, as well as several other things the fans proudly point out.
Compared to Macross 2, which is utter crap, this is leaps & bounds above. So many folks love Akira, but for me, this is just SO MUCH more above & beyond.
Macross & Robotech are known for their integration of music, like Min Mei. But, this is just so different. It also integrated the sounds & feel of the 1990s, including New Age sound, techno, and pop music. There's a track that sounds similar to George Michael. Or the slow ballad "Voices" which is so very very 90s.
Anyways, there's a new box set, that's ONLY available in Japan (but if u can afford it you COULD possibly get one online, somewhere, IF u can even find one for sale).
I wish "Macross Frontier" was available as well. Because that was excellent as well.
Anyways... my New Year's resolution was to watch more Sc-Fi. And, I've done lots of that.
Start Trek, Macross, and several TV shows like Terra Nova, The 4400, and Continuum.
And, "Manga" is just the word for "comic book" or even a "graphic novel"...
But, "Anime" evokes a certain image in your mind. It's Japanese, but all over Asia, people do styles of cartoon art that has a certain look or feel to it. But, there's no 1 specific look necessarily.
I think most people, if you asked them, they would say "Japanimation!" Ha!
As I said, I used to HATE it in the 90s. I liked it in the 80s tho... I loved dorky shows like: Voltron, Tranzon Z, Unico... but, then when I learned about Disney, I got real snobby... it's true... Sorry...
I also, REALLY HATE English dubs! I prefer to watch ALL films in their original languages, with subtitles.
Another thing to point out about Japanese versions of cartoon & comics is that they often just break rules. You can see some parts in high quality, fully done art, super detailed, very hard work. Then, turn the page of a manga and find lots of unfinished, or roughly drawn slacker drawings... sometimes, it's even done on purpose, not necessarily because they're lazy. The animated work can go through the same things.
It reminds me of much of the movie content from Hong Kong as well. All just smashed together, high quality this, then crappy sketch skits for 10 min in the comedies... or odd anticlimactic skits in British comedy, like Monty Python or Benny Hill.
But, like I said, that all changed when I watched "Macross Plus".
The characters didn't ALL have the same face, or bodytype, and even changed their clothes. The character designs were beautiful, and the stories were very good. There was quality, innovation, morals, and more.
Other notable anime favorites of mine are:
"Macross Frontier", the series & the movies.
Neon Genesis Evangelion
(all of them! The series, the mangas, the films. Brilliant stuff!)
"Mononoke Hime" (Monster Princess, or Princess Mononoke)
Which is a very bloody yet Disney-like anime film, of very high quality shot on a 2s frame-rate (yes I'm speaking Animator). Which makes me VERY happy.
And most especially a film often called
"Spirited Away" (Also shot on 2s)
These animes have a wide variety of parts that cause the viewer to undergo the emotions of the characters, which range all over the place, from the very sentimental, to very disgusting, misfortune & frustration, and observe the characters try to maintain their inner goodness, whiles others are brats, or megalomaniacs.
They also deal with themes such as battered women, abuse, neglect, altruism, innocence, persons with mental illness or are emotionally damaged or traumatized. Also, these particular favorites of mine have very good endings.
When it comes to most Asian films, movies, and TV shows, I find they often lack the ability to have a good ending, most notably with the way they do endings for tragedies, unlike Hollywood which has it down to an art & science, and has several variations spanning several decades.
As for experimenting with styles of anime, myself, I sometimes did it with Lively, but other times I used a Humanoid version of my "Black UniGryphon" (Vallour Nikee) Fursona as a Goddess (a whole other story), because that character is also a shape-shifter.
I want to comment a bit about prejudices, and Ethnocentrism.
It turns out, that most people are guilty of this at some point or another of this, in some variation, whether they mean to or not. This includes myself. Overcoming this involves being curious about other cultures, and sharing things like arts & music, and other creative things.
Being or doing something Ethnocentric just means to judge people or persons of another culture by the standards of YOUR values & views from YOUR culture.
Even tho' it's not a good thing, it's important to keep in mind that people of another culture have a different view or perspective than that of your own, be aware of it, and ask yourself: am I being ethnocentric? Don't beat yourself up if you find out that you might have been... Instead, learn from it.
It's TOTALLY OKAY to shift your view of the way you view the world, and not just your micro version of the world, because it will broaden WHO YOU ARE. Others may feel threatened by it, and try to deter you from it, because people fear what they do not understand. (things that are different)
But, I can assure you, there's NOTHING better than the realization that you WERE WRONG about something, and then OVERCOMING it. Because you can FINALLY grow as a person.
This type of theme was ULTRA popular in the 1990s, but also throughout the 20th Century. And even uncovering that you were wrong or misjudged someone, or even about yourself.
(1990s) Movies I loved were:
The Jungle Book (Jason Scott Lee version) Dragon; Bruce Lee Story (Jason Scott Lee) Map of The Human Heart (Jason Scott Lee) Clueless Blade (Wesley Snipes) The Matrix
Titanic Mortal Kombat (The Movie) Jungle Fever The Lover (1992 Tony Leung) Terminator 2; Judgement Day Shindler's List Fight Club Home Alone Pocahontas The Lion King Beauty & The Beast Mulan The Sand Lot Radio Flyer The Good Son Sidekicks Beethoven (the dog movie) Pretty Woman Gattaca Contact Liar Liar The Game The Mask Ace Ventura; Pet Detective I & II Sister Act Dangerous Minds Rush Hour (Jackie Chan) Bio-Dome In The Army Now Cool Runnings Forrest Gump Problem Child Best of the Best (1989)
(and, yes, I was a fan of Jason Scott Lee in case you were wondering)
Films like this have an emphasis on "learning your lesson" and growing as a person, maturing, and giving back to your fellow human society in a good constructive, productive and genuine way by also being "true to your heart". "Being the better man" even if someone is unwilling to be civil, and unwilling to let go of their prejudices by continuing to cling to it & fear-based ego driven ideals or judgements. To do the right thing.
Watching films like these, or even TV content from that period is like night and day compared to now. Now, you can find themes justifying torture frequently in TV shows. I've seen MORE rape depicted in films today than ever. And, I'm not talking about making the case against it like "The Color Purple" (1985) but a very gratuitous amount, often to entice viewership. It's VERY dark.
I used to think Chinese & Japanese films had an overdo of dark & tragic themes, such as rampant rape & torture, but I think content from the USA has far eclipsed it now.
But, art is art... and I don't think artists should be censored too much.... if at all...
The unfortunate thing about themes & media today is that they very rarely seem to make the case against theses actions or conduct on an inner level. Like, there's no moral to the story... Not that all stories require morals, and I understand entertainment for entertainment sake... but, it's just not there so much...
It's this: Be afraid. Look out for yourself. Dog eat dog. Take it while you can, winner takes all, over the top stuff... Or stuff that reinforces prejudices. advocates in favor of it, sometimes in subtle ways, others in your face...
And, sure, I do watch some of it... but, not all...
(Gratuitous content I have watched: Spartacus Blood & Sand (and the spin-offs), Game of Thrones, Star Trek Enterprise, 24, Lost, The Event)
Yet, I especially don't watch so-called "reality TV".
As for me, overcoming a number of things (prejudices) involves being open to other cultures, including films, music, etc...
As I mentioned, I was very anti Japanese animated content, because most of the junk I'd known was what I saw on TV. But, when I was in college, there were SOOOOOOO many kids that loved anime.
If you didn't know, Anime movies/videos are VERY expensive, even if they are the bad quality ones. But, the experience of going to college is a VERY good one and helps one to open up and GROW as a person. Something I liked very much was how freely everyone wanted to share movies & music together.
When I was younger, like I said, I loved techno music even if it was in a different language, like German, or in Chinese. And, I got so much heat & hate for it. When I was in college I recognized that my classmates also loved the Japanese content in the same way that I loved mine, and that they had ALSO undergone the EXACT same kind of hate & prejudices others also had. So, I could identify with them... and so, I found myself opening up to all kinds of Japanese movies, videos, and even some music.
It's ironic because, now today due to the internet being FAR more accessible, there have been a number of forign hits world wide due to memes, such as: Numa Numa (Dragostea Din Tei) Caramel Dansen BoA
-and the newest and biggest hit: Psy's "Gangnam Style":
So, altho there is so much prejudices on the usual fronts in the media, you can find that in arts & music we've come quite a long way! And, it makes me feel good about Humanity...
Often people would say to me:
How can you listen to this or that music? It's in German!
To which I would laugh: Well, I can speak German! XD
If I listened to Kelly Chen in any number of languages she sings in (Cantonese, Mandarin, English, Japanese) did it really matter what the language was?
When Blümchen (Jasmin Wagner) became a HUGE hit in Sweden with the song "Nur geträumt..." (Only Dreamed...) years after it was originally released, they asked her why she thought the song was so popular even tho' most people couldn't understand the words in Scandinavia, and she even had an English version ("Just A Dream..."/Blossom) but no one liked that version as much as the original version in German, she often would comment, laughingly, that she felt that the words really didn't matter, the feeling did, and if the feeling was good then that was all that mattered.
She said that when she was little she loved music by a Swedish rock band Roxette (Joyride, Listen To Your Heart, It Must've Been Love) and learned all the words to the songs because she just loved the music, even tho' she couldn't understand what they were singing about. Then, because of music, she learned to speak English.
It's like that with me as well.
I would like very much for the world to overcome more prejudices. At times things seem like they are, and other times I question whether we might ever get there...
Remember how I said I liked things that reminded me of my own work, or ideas? Well, it's true.
When The Matrix came out, I was BLOWN AWAY. It was loaded with subculture, underground themes, it mixed & blended ideas that were already around but MOSTLY just among others on the internet, like myself at the time, as well as mixing Asian, European, American, and Australian cultural themes. It has a very anime or even a comic book feel, but more Anime/Manga than anything... It has both what you would call "higher thinking" ideas as well as "deep thinking" if you care for philosophy... The classical types of what Science Fiction was originally about.
They used innovative new technologies with cameras, and ways to shoot film..
It was the big project by Wachowski Brothers, now known as just The Wachowskis.
Wouldn't it be great to do something THAT big, some day?
Here are some of my earlier concept sketches, and experiential sketches I did with "Lively".
Lively pretty much, pretty often, went through most of whatever I did, however, I don't like to make her go through very bad things. I believe she deserves much better than that...
I was very inspired by this very fantasy proto steam-punk theme, like I'd said in my previous post, from the rave culture of Eurodance, and Happy Hardcore, and other techno bands in Europe... So, I had all these feelings, concepts and ideas inspired from all kinds of these musics, and esthetics, and all of that whirling around in my mind and my day dreams... I'd already been dreaming up my project "Eyewitness" (which I will blog about in another blog) since I was also a teen.
But, for my Dragon Project (which I'd originally named "Guardian" but I have since then scrapped the name) as I have said, it started out that a number of the scenes were of Lively.
Here are 2 of my original concepts, and I DO have some story boarded.
Eventually, I had to change up the story, because I KNEW the story had dragons, and especially 1 dragon, but, I didn't know how to make her yet... Then, during my 1st & 2nd quarters at AIPH I began developing my dragon character, Djehkäujaa. She would have a number of quirks, idiosyncrasies, and be the type of personality that needs to learn EVERYTHING the hard way, by being foolish, and making SUCH big mistakes that she MUST learn VERY hard lessons. Unlike Lively whom is very carefree & bohemian yet VERY thoughtful & wise, Djehkäujaa starts out as being CARELESS, selfish, and completely oblivious to consequences of her actions & causality. So, when she has to pay the price for what she does/did, she not only is STUCK with her punishment, she's also banished. She never appreciated who & what she was, and what she had until she screwed it all up... So, as she's in a humanoid form, she's very sulky, solemn, and depressed. VERY bitter too. She did it to herself, and has ONLY herself to blame. And, she feels utterly guilty & self loathing about it.
That's where Lively comes in... and, they both have to deal with each other...
But, anyways, the story worked! The ironic thing is, my villain character, at the time, I'd thought might've been TOO over-the-top. I was afraid audiences would reject the story for having SUCH a horrible villain. But, after having lived through the Bush & Obama eras of extreme wealth, greed, and corruption he seems MUCH tamer than real life, now.
For me, I learned some lessons myself, but they're not as bad as all that.
Life Lessons: Standing Up To Abusive Authority Despite Religious Ideology
I'd had a misogynistic art teacher that utterly abused me. He didn't think he was wrong either. It seems like they never do...
Ironically, his original teaching methods were very good in my 1st year. I learned VERY much from him, and my skills & talents took off after his simple basic instructions for the fundamentals of pencil sketching, blending, and painting, as well as old school graphic art.
I was told, and everyone was told, that we could learn & study animation starting in our Junior year.
I'd won so many awards, scholarships, etc. all the time, but this teacher was so smug and full of himself, that he couldn't acknowledge me, his student.
His own work, beyond the basics was just so-so. And, he would ONLY praise his past students if they were male.
So, when it came time to study the animation, he kept lying, and putting it off, or changing the subject. I kept experimenting with a Painter program (animation) on the computers, because he wouldn't teach us, and, he let everyone else run wild (which is an understatement IF YOU ONLY KNEW).
Finally, even tho' I had already been going to classes at the U-ARTS in Philadelphia on partial scholarships, I confronted him about the animation. When were we gonna do it? Then, he lied and said that Iwas crazy, that he'd said no such thing, and that was the end of it... (So Ha-ha! Did that actually matter to you? Oh well, deliberate SAD DAY FOR YOU!)
But, that wasn't the end of that, he'd goaded the upperclassmen to berate me, rob & destroy my things, and viciously harass me, in waves, and for entertainment!
This was a homework assignment. We had to draw faces/portraits of people from magazines, like celebrities, or public figures, in graphite pencils.
I got an A+ on this. There was NO ONE in the class whom could draw ANYTHING like this. NOT EVER during the entire time I went to the class/shop...
But, after a while, he started to give me bad grades, bad marks, and WANTED ME TO DO THE WORK FOR OTHERS! After the 2nd or 3rd time doing this, I began getting REALLY angry...
Now, mind you, I was supposed to be a Protestant Christian. You are NOT supposed to fight back, you are NOT supposed to have bad or angry thoughts, you are NOT supposed to judge people (Forgive them for they know not what they do), you are JUST supposed to FORGIVE people, and PRAY for them, and LOVE them altruistically... ALL the more reason as to WHY they were SOOOO vicious to me, AND the teacher ABUSED his power by GOADING the class AGAINST ME! (Power dynamics)
He barely lifted a FINGER to help me, EVER! AND, whenever he did, he'd abrasively scrape & rub it in my face, and threw salt in it!
When I won awards, he would parade around to other teachers with MY paintings & artwork showing off HIS STUDENT!
Look at what a GREAT teacher I am!
Smiling, and getting attention from all the other teachers.
Then, when he'd come BACK into the classroom, his face would change, and his gaze was ever hateful & spiteful to me! Just because he didn't use inappropriate words, didn't mean what he said, or his tone, nor the way he treated & abused me, made it correct or appropriate at all...
Not a SINGLE fellow student would stand up for me, and yet they also would agree that he singled me out to pick on me specifically.
After he'd screwed me over for another chance to have my artwork hung in Congress (because I'd had my work exhibited the previous year), promised to matt my illustration, and didn't, then it was too late, he turned on me. He started yelling at me saying he NEVER promised that, and that I'd NEVER even asked him, when I'd asked him, all day, every day, for 2 months! Then, he got the other students to gang up on me. So, Ha-ha!
I couldn't believe this was really happening! AND, it was getting worse!
A BIG student art festival was coming up, and we ALL had to get our art ready for "The Teen Arts Festival" and some others. So, of COURSE, NOW he wanted to matt my illustration. But, the problem was this guy in the class. A senior... I think his name was Brian, maybe... This guy NEVER did his work, didn't do ANYTHING, yet his grades were good, and mine now weren't so good...
The teacher wanted ME to do this jerks work! I REFUSED!
Then, he pestered me! I still said: NO!
So, he went on and on about how my grades were slipping, and how I could do so much better... WHAT THE HELL??? You want ME to do the artwork OF THE BOYS???? But, I AM SLIPPING??? I COULD DO BETTER??? MAKE THEM DO THEIR OWN WORK! AND DON;t GIVE THEM a GRADE for WHAT I DID!
The majority of the students in the shop were FEMALE (more than 1/2 of whom were drug addict bimbos whom turned tricks, or boasted about their slutty sex lives. But if I wore anything slightly sexy, oh no, I'm a bad person!), many of the guys dropped out!
There was even a boy, whom COULD actually draw, passed all the tests, but the teacher wouldn't let him into the class because he thought he was ugly!
Meanwhile he let some Satanist randomly come into the class with us, and draw hideous things EVERYWHERE against his OWN RULES!
Some of the idiot girls even drew PENISES EVERYWHERE! On the chalk boards!
But, he would manage to get the TV signed-in for our class-room EVERY DAY so these morons could watch "The Faces Of Death" which got more & more morbid as the videos progressed, and eventually with this horribly noisy audio punker music which gave me a migraine and I couldn't do my work!
ALL kinds of ILLEGAL SEXUAL HARASSMENT going on!
(I used to give lectures an talks in my senior year about this sort of thing! And, here, I was the victim of it!) The Satanist used to tell me "You have nice lips" and that they would look pretty around his cock. The teacher thought this was amusing.
So, then this guy (not the Satanist), let's call him Brian, gets SO heavily into drugs that he starts to bring HARD DRUGS to the school! And, of course, because he's a fool, he gets CAUGHT!
He had a physical fight, and yelling match, with the art teacher, and then began making massive trouble with the school principals. He was so wacked out on drugs, that he was acting out, and going literally insane! So, teams of cops came into the building, and they had him in CHAINS, and dragged him away. (I remember watching him get hauled out of the building from out the window of our shop on the 2nd floor, in chains, kicking and screaming.)
He got expelled, and no one ever saw, nor heard, from him again. Good riddance!
-BUT... the insanity didn't stop there!
OH NO!
This asshole left some of his unfinished artwork in the classroom. Several things, because he NEVER finished ANYTHING!
So, the teacher grabs them and 1st tries to get ME to finish them.
To me, as an artist that is like the ULTIMATE FAUX PAS! You NEVER work on someone else's work, unless you've MUTUALLY both agreed it was OK, and consented to it. There were about 3 that he'd picked... 1 of which I recall was one black illustration board with a trombone that had been TRACED ON. Not authentically drawn... NO! TRACED! 'Cause Brian was a HACK! In fact, the majority, if not ALL, of the students WERE ALSO HACKS! They even used techniques with the Xerox machine...
So, this piece of CRAP illustration of the trombone, had used colored pencils & maybe some paints in funky colors on it, where some of the reflective areas were...
Having refused to work on it, he forced 2 of the older girls to finish it, especially the ethnic girl, whom was probably THE ONLY girl who wasn't insane, and could at times ACTUALLY be genuinely NICE including TO ME. And, she did the majority of the work, because the white girl also refused to do it after a while...
He (the teacher) kept nagging until that was done too!
Finally, the artwork gets finished and she'd redone the whole thing, and made it more HER. But, then, EVEN the TEACHER worked on it! So then, this teacher turns around and submits this crap UNDER BRIAN'S NAME to the Art Festival, and this HACK'S CRAP actually WON!
Da Faahk???
This jerk DID NOT EVEN GO TO OUR SCHOOL ANYMORE! AND, he DIDN'T EVEN do the whole thing! The other students did, and EVEN the TEACHER!!!! Life Lesson: This is the kind of bullshit that goes on "in the art world".
But, my piece was probably the ONLY real, authentic, actually ORIGINAL, detailed, time consumed piece, AND FREEHAND!
So, not only was this about the time when I was FED UP! I was like a pressure cooker, or a bottle of champagne that had been shook up WAY to much, IN THE HEAT! I'm about to bust open, explode everywhere! I was festering, and I was SO angry with this teacher! I began obsessing about how evil he was, and began to consider leaving.
1 thought led to another thought, and it began making sense... So, I'd asked the people in Environmental if they might ever want me to come back... they seemed VERY happy with the idea that I WOULD come back! I used to hang out with them all in their shop anyway on my lunches! And, still worked on projects with them! Then, I asked Mr. Moore, and he seemed to JUMP for JOY with the idea that I might come back, cause he had a MILLION uses for me, and he was in charge of Vo-TAG (Vocationally Talented And Gifted) which I was also in.
I'd pretty much HAD it with this art teacher! I already HAD enough reasons to leave the shop. But, being a Christian, it seemed odd to do... you're just supposed to STICK WITH WHAT YOU STARTED & FINISH IT (as the Protestants would preach). Don't be a quitter! For shame! You should TRY to work things out. You should forgive.
So, I tried that... I tried to talk to him. I even asked him: Why do you treat me this way? WHY are you doing this? This made him laugh and goad the other kids after me, and mocked me further.
Even tho' the other kids would laugh along with him, they would even also ask him: Yeah, why do you treat her like that? What did she ever do to you?
Then, he would laugh and say stuff like: She was born! (meaning I was a freak or a mutant, another thing he'd mock at me about... perhaps because I used to read X-MEN as a Freshman, or watched Star Trek)
Oh... hilarious...
But, THAT WAS IT!
I'd had it! I even hollered at him.
Yeah, you know that whole thing that Jesus said about "turn the other cheek"? Turns out that SAME guy protested and went after the money changers, and physically turned over their tables and threw them.... (ironic, because my way of dealing with bullies in the 7th grade was flipping over the desks and throwing them because the MALE teacher would do NOTHING to save me, nor help me, and ALLOWED boys to assault & batter me, EVERYDAY!) Usually, for me growing up as a Christian it was taught to me that I wasn't allowed to fight back, but you COULD stand up for those less fortunate than yourselves and be THEIR hero... yet, pretty much NO ONE wanted to be MY hero... including people whom professed to be Christians...
So, at lunch, I went to the office of the female principal, and I talked to her. I told her I had something very upsetting to tell her, and that I was being abused for the past several years, and I just wanted to leave that shop and go into Environmental, and that Mr. Moore had told me he was already OK with it.
Next thing I knew all the teachers were upset! They didn't want me to leave that teacher's class/shop. Many teachers wanted to talk to me, and dissuade me from leaving, and even that principal tried to dissuade me from switching.
I was SO fed, up, that I started screaming, and crying, and freaking out! I told the principal that he was a horrible man, and I couldn't take ANOTHER moment with him after everything he did to me! He not only allowed the other students to ROB me, he encouraged it!Bullying, sexual harassment, favoritism, etc.!
Then, my mother was called to the school.... and I was so upset... but, even my mother wanted to know more... she seemed to think that I needed to handle the situation gracefully, and believe me I was holding myself together just fine unless I was being back into a corner & berated... she told me "not to burn my bridges" and to shake his hand, etc... I told her I didn't even want to look at his face EVER again! He was a bad person. I gave him the chance to fess-up, or do right by me, but he didn't...
Can you believe that so many of those teachers tried to push me to stay and told me it was "to help me follow my dream"? No. My dream was NEVER to be abused. All the things that went on were outright crimes in the simplest, and even complex forms!
And so, I left...
So, THE most talented artist, not only in "Advertizing, Art & Design" BUT also the ENTIRE school, (possibly in the top of entire State of New Jersey) left and went back to Environmental! :D I wasn't worried at all. I still went to the U-ARTS Philly on the weekend, and I was confident that I could get accepted to AIPH. Plus, my art NEVER stopped!
After all, remember?: Child prodigy. *points to self*
Being in Environmental gave me MORE opportunities to do MUCH more with WHO I was, and what I did than that "Advertizing, Art & Design" ever could. I had so much privilege, and I could walk the halls without a pass, and never get in trouble, because I was so highly regarded, if I wanted.
I painted a HUGE Mural my senior year as well, AND I made MY OWN projects, CONSTANTLY, and DID THEM! I was self motivated, responsible, capable, and helpful.
All the younger students looked up to me... which of course caused me to become HATED among my peers in my own class (the class of 1998, whom wanted to bully them for entertainment). Plus, since I was so well regarded among the teaching faculty, and the administrators, and had high grades, they (my fellow peers in my grade) all began to resent me... They didn't think I even knew the scientific materials... but I DID! I'm a geek, so not only did I know the materials, I remembered more of it than they did... Thus, more hatred & resentment... They didn't see me as an asset, they saw me as competition, but I wasn't completely with them. I had my self to compete with, to challenge myself to become more than whom and what I was. I wasn't putting anyone down. I would help to build people up. I was altruistic.
As it turns out, tho', that art teacher, after I left according to the other students whom told me that he's calmed down entirely, he didn't mock or razz students anymore, and he'd seemed to have regretted how he'd behaved, and maybe have mentioned something along those lines slightly... they even said he'd totally changed after I'd left, and was quiet, and mopey...
Turns out, when u abuse people you're supposed to be in charge of, they don't respect you... and you get in trouble... It wasn't as tho' this man didn't know any better, because at times he would preach about how some people should be this way or that way... and even quoted some philosophy... except, ya broke your own principles, dude...
Even tho' I was respectful to him (because if you're a Christian, you MUST respect authority, and ALWAYS be respectful and kind to others) he actually didn't deserve any respect at all. True respect is earned. I respected him for what he'd taught me in the 1st year, but after that, there was NOTHING he could really teach me, and when I needed his help or assistance he turned on me... A true master teacher is ALWAYS respectful to their students, but he was not....
And, so... What's the moral of the story? * DON'T let people push you around. Stand up for your dignity. Because if you let them it's like saying you deserve it. And you DON'T DESERVE IT! * Sometimes, when you are a true genuine person, people that are either just normal, or fake, resent you... because it shows them what they are not.... actually, they AREN'T actually resenting YOU, but THEMSELVES and taking it out on you, because they don;t try to be real, genuine, or good. * People fear what the DO NOT UNDERSTAND. * If you truly have self respect, you will treat other with respect & dignity, even if they don't always deserve it, because it reflects better of yourself. * All form of attack is a psychological cry for help by way of attention.
Anime:
As for the last year (Senior Year) of high school, well... it came with MANY challenging things... some not so good, like being robbed, being beaten up twice, death threats, moving, a trip to Germany, summer collage & big scholarships, insane work and insane working hours, exhaustion, and more...
But, there were some GOOD lessons, which were NOT painful AT ALL!
Some art related ones...
Where to even start???
Having attended animation classes on scholarship, on the weekend, at The Philadelphia University of the Arts (U-ARTS) taught by Lowl Boston, it was normal for his adult full-time students to come in and sometimes help out with the classes, or even work on their work with us...
For whatever reason, many animation students would just drop out after having paid so much money for the classes... I NEVER understood this!
Do, animation was 1 of the BEST emotional feelings one could have when your art played back in motion on a pencil test machine! My MOST cherished memories of my ENTIRE LIFE!
But, anyways...
MOST, if not ALL, art schools HATED Japanese looking cartoons, or anime... the reasons why are SO obvious. They are often times CRAP, based on simple technique, not real artistic techniques, but cheating, are often bad stories, bad quality, the "animations" are often shot on 5s (yes that's animation geek talk for frame rate) and they're NOTHING but a "mange that slightly moves set to audio". Having seen anime from the 80s & 90s, the majority was just turds in a toilet because they were SO BAD! Mass produced junk... you know quantity VS. quality... well, I LOVED Disney, which was QUALITY, and I loathed anime which was junk! Much of it often still is...
However... since I'd already made up my own mind, having seen SO much junk anime, I'd judged & deemed it to be beneath me and NOT worth my time... yes, very snobbish, don't you think? (I mean. COME-ON! Have you EVER watched Sailor Moon? Good grief, it's SO BAD! Worst animation ever! The only thing it has going for it is the visual designs!)
But, this guy/student whom was about to graduate within a year at the University and was buddy buddy with Lowl (the animation teacher) liked anime. I remember discussing it with both of them, and we were all laughing about how bad anime was, but they still watched some.
Well, 1 day, Lowl decided that guy should show "Macross Plus" and they BOTH said I'd like it... but, whatever... I wasn't interested...
But, since it was on... I had to sit their and listen to it as I sat at my animation disk, doing my traditional pencil animations...
That guy said there were different versions of it. There was a movie version, and then there was a mini series version which was better... so, he had the episodes play 1 after the other...
As the 1st episode began, I was ALREADY starting to HATE it... but, it was an innovative animation piece that integrated computer & traditional animation to do things that NO OTHER animated film or series had EVER DONE.
But... again, just like several anime films, 1 of the main characters is an arrogant jerk... (Isamu)
By the time we got to the 2nd episode I was about to EAT MY WORDS! There was a musical concert scene of Sharon Apple that was SO eye-catching & lovely, and the artwork didn't look Japanese! It looked European! The music was SOOOOO good! It wasn't that annoying cutesy Japanese rock/pop music! It was all totally unique!
Not only that, but before I knew it I was getting into the story, even tho' I was in denile about it!
What REALLY got me was that the END has a melodramatic twist in it! A psychological twist! The person we'd all pegged to be an arrogant jerk, and thought was more of a bad guy, turned out wasn't all that bad... and the guy we'd thought was THE good guy actually was the one who did something bad to the girl, but because of his genetics, he'd blocked out the memories. So, he was blaming that guy, and trying to duke it out and kill him, he suddenly had a flask-back total recall, and realized HE was the villain! And, he thought he'd killed the guy! he felt totally wrong having dishonored himself, and realized that the guy didn't get blown up but turned off his engines and road the updraft. So, he fessed-up and they both realized that deep down inside, despite all the hate, that guy was actually protecting his feelings and took the blame for him, so when the ghost plane was hacked by the evil AI program, he sacrificed himself for his friend to redeem himself.
When I saw this film, I was SO moved. And, I'd learned a lesson too. Sometimes, some Japanese anime films might actually be good...Sometimes, it's possible to misjudge someone or something...but, you should fess-up to it, address it, make amends and move FORWARD.
By the time I'd gone to AIPH the way that all the other artists would bond with each other was by watching movies... usually it was anime...
I learned WHY Japanese animated products were so popular. It wasn't because of their artwork... no, because much of it stinks... It was ALL ABOUT THE STORIES!
Even if your art is ugly, but your story was GREAT, that often times mattered more than an expensive yet pretty video. Good stories MAKE YOU FEEL.
So, when I think of many of my concept for Lively, there's much inspiration from parts of Marcoss Plus, which I've watched OVER & OVER in several different versions, and have multiple soundtracks of! Turns out, there is TECHNO in the film!
I reworked, re-painted, re-colored, and edited this in Adobe Photoshop CC 2018 & Adobe After Effects CC 2018 last week.
