Showing posts with label concept art. Show all posts
Showing posts with label concept art. Show all posts

Sunday, October 16, 2016

Impetuous Xingtao n Lively Sketch 敖兴涛

Concept Art: Rough Sketch
敖兴涛 Ao Xingtao grabs Lively frightening her
 浮躁敖兴涛抓住 Lively
 急躁, 急性病,愣头愣脑,孟浪,卞,鲁莽的,欲望,要,媟

Since its October, that means the ever popular #Inktonber, only I don;t really care to use inks all the time (altho' I did do a butterfly yesterday) I felt several urges to sketch between working on my video project(s) for UMASS in my Video Workshop. But, then I found out through a child of my friend, whom I also somewhat view as a little friend (but getting BIG n tall) n friends' with my daughter, that #Drawtober was a thing also! #Vlogtober is also a thing, however, I'm unsure as to whether I will do it this year, or not.

Anyways, this was the first thing I actually intentionally used #Drawtober for.

I'm rather torn, since I quite enjoy video editing, and shorting video, as well as photography, and I apparently also like editing audio since I've done lots of it lately. But, I often find I wish to sketch, but since it's fall now, every second counts on good weather days, plus I'm borrowing the equipment from UMASS which often needs to get returned within days.

If I start sketching now, I won't stop.... but, I figured I'd blog this before I forget.


I'm still sorta developing Xingtao, so he's still not completely set yet. 

At first, Xingtao is actually VERY SCARY at times, often impulsive, impetuous, brash, and inconsiderate. One of those instances of smart intelligent persons whom do completely stupid things, act without thinking, foolish behaviors, self sabotage. 

I still want younger teen aged Lively to have a number of male interactions. But, this guy will weave in and out. She won't really like him at first, and be interested in other guys. But, these 2 will get into a lot of flirtations, fun times, antics, and more. However, he can't often cope with his own intensity, because he's a very well liked person by so many folks, but his feelings for Lively will be a huge monkey wrench in his gears, that he often can't deal with properly, or correctly, and will comepletely screw things up. 

I think every girl has experienced the over zealous guy whom can't contain himself, or looses his self control, and on a whim disrespects the boundaries on his own selfish whims and impulses and also doesn't understand why you're reacting not in the way he wants.  

Here's what I wrote on Deviant Art when I published this there:

Lively: It scares me when you do that! 
Ao Xingtao 敖兴涛: My feelings scare me too.

Well, Xingtao is kinda scary at first. Despite bold flirtations between them, at times his emotions get sudden, and abrupt, and he's impulsive, brash, and acts without thinking. In the front of the theater by the parking lot, after work, after dinner with coworkers, they are walking to their cars, and after everyone has already driven off, as they walk to the other end he brashly grabs Lively and pulls her close to him.

It's utterly uncalled for, and inappropriate, and frightening. He's so overcome with the intensity of his own selfish feelings, longings, and desires that he doesn't realize he did the wrong thing, even after her frightened reaction. The totally wrong move in such a  WIDE OPEN situation, and so vulnerable. All of the security guards had already left the theater as well.

Too fast! Too sudden! Just because flirtations were going well earlier didn't make this the right time to do something that dumb, and thoughtless!

Trying to stay composed, yet still overwhelmed and frightened, Lively resists Xingtao, even tho' he's pulling her close to him.
The exact wrong thing! Bad move!
She liked you so much just a while ago, and now you go and pull a stunt like this? Idiot!

Lively, altho' nervous, and panicking, stays as calm & composed as she can, but begins pulling away, and listing a number of reasons as that she must leave.

She's not a thing, and not an object for you to use at your whim, and whatever it was you desired she definitely doesn't want anything to do with it now... and she'll try to stay a distance from you now... probably won't walk alone with you again...

Idiot! Why do you do these things? She actually liked you, and you're hot & sexy. You're so smart, but so stupid! Tactless! Clueless!


But, before long..... by a week or so, they'll be flirting all over again...
Maybe you'll get it right some day, you idiot!

If you'd just calm down, she'd melt all into you, the gravity and magnetism is already there.








I would like to develop this, and these interactions a lot more.

I've still never finished working on some stuff with Djekäujaa, but also I'm still working on my skills (if I have time) and still thinking up catsuit designs for Lively.

I have other concept designs for Xingtao later when he's older. , with the long hair.

i also wish to have the interactions with Xingtao to be the sexiest, but also a mixture of some of the strangest, and also most fun parts as well.
He's the most likable, yet the most infuriating, perplexing, but also he will have an aspect of mystique (which can be aggravating) because he can't entirely remember his past... or should I say, he can;t remember his past correctly, and had different identities as different roles in his life... he becomes so absorbed into whom he is in this world and life, and ambitions, that he doesn't even think the same way he once did as his original self....

He rationalizes this to himself, but also others view him apologetically, as being a foreigner as the excuse as to why he's odd at times.  It's similar to how adopted children, or kidnapped children, often completely forget their life before, and who they were, and become fully absorbed into their new identity, new life, and even entirely new personality... only to come to a shock when they start to remember things that don;t make sense, or are presented with the sudden, abrupt reality of being someone else, or that they had some other life way in the past.

I also want him to have a slight clash, but not so much, here n there with Djehkäujaa. Those 2 will never become intimate, because Djehkäujaa is, despite being highly sexy n desirable in her humanoid form, completely celibate. Djehkäujaa is a dragon through n through n feels no such attraction to human beings, at all, ever. Xingtao has the strange feeling that Djehkäujaa is somehow familiar to him, but unsure. But, Djehkäujaa scoffs at this idea. However, she will start to sense something about him also....

Ao Xingtao is all about Lively, even tho' he often flutters off into oblivion....

I would like him to start to become more mature, towards the end, but he will unfortunately become a bit rigid in some ways, because that's what happens to most men. He will eventually decide he actually wants to be a lot closer and more solid within Lively's life, and regrets all of his foolishness regarding her, and wants to completely be with her, pushing away any other men.... and despite her skepticism, he starts to sweep her off her feet hard.

The ultimate ending will, of course involve the main antagonist villain... Xingtao will of course be involved, because he's all about Lively now, and I will write it to make it seem as tho' Ao Xintao will be most likely to seem to be the victor, or hero... however, he will fall short by accident. NO, he's NOT the HERO.

Lively is actually a much stronger character, and just when you think she's the victor. NO! Not Lively! Djehkäujaa is! Because Lively & Djehkäujaa will have become like best friends.

Despite all of the surprises I have in store for Xingtao. Djehkäujaa will have ALL of the best ones, but they will come at towards the end. Xingtao's will be sometime past the middle.


 敖兴涛



I have one more surprise about Xingtao which is somewhat inspired by a very well known, and very creative, hoax done by a well known French artist of 2 mummified women found on the Moon, and the fake Apollo 20 Mission.

It's just the right kind of weird, much like "Eyewitness" my other story of Lively, that I'm looking forward to it. 







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Wednesday, October 5, 2016

Designing Lively's Catsuit & The Gardens of The Future Project

Halfway through my Mori sketch of Lively, I'd already felt a strong pull to Sci-Fi themes and futuristic ideas, since I was already on a HUGE Sci-Fi anime kick, and had watched the reboots of Evangelion, all of Macross Delta, and other Macross & Robotech stories, as well as the entire series of Lain. So, it's only a natural progression that it somehow morphed into an urge to do Lively back in a Sci-Fi theme which ended up coming back to my story... Funny how ur mind can do that...

Well, I started redoing and redesigning,or at least trying to come up with new versions of a Catsuit or full body suit which I often depicted Lively in since the mid 1990s as a kid.


I was often teased in college (UARTS & AIPH 1998-2001) that she was "naked girl". But, she wasn't naked, she was wearing a full body catsuit, sometimes with open feet, or with boots, or boots built on, and with or without gloves. I just wanted to focus more on the form & the proportions back then and NOT coloring, and getting as far away from OVER DETAILING my work which I'm prone to doing. (That may or may not be a good or bad thing.)

I felt that the full body suit, or catsuit, had a place more within the project she was heading. I've based much of the things she does in the story on my own teen-aged experience(s). There are not always as many opportunities for young people to step up and really do things for their community today as their were back then, or if they are they are less independence or responsibility driven. I had known many many young persons as a teenager whom were much smarter, and far more mature than not only their peers, but their teachers, parents, and most adults significantly older than themselves. Unfortunately, when you have a system that does help them, only to pull the rug out from under them just when they were getting somewhere and really shining it caused devastating problems, including depression, alcoholism, suicide, or self destruction. It's utterly a cruel thing to rob the brightest minds, and those with the best potentials for the sake of greed or destructive ideologies. I could think of so many instances where the best of my generation were cut down just before they were about to touch their zenith or apex. Those whom did EVERYTHING right, played it safe, were good persons, upstanding citizens, and real contributors. So, I wanted to incorporate the things that work when maintained into the story, yet still allow for areas where characters need to grow, and to address a transition in society, and the blow-back of ignorance whom can't handle progress, or whom have become so jaded because they never got that when it was "in their day".

A major key component of this story is THIS project: The Gardens of The Future Project(s)

I wanted to create an actualized transition of how it would go, and the kinds of ridiculous things peoples do to lash out as change even when its for their own benefit.

I couldn't decide on a single garden model because each region will have different needs, climates, and require specialized and tailored ways of being more effective, and yet even in colder climates tropical or desert crops could be grown in in greenhouses.

The projects will be all working and living experiments of multiple systems which are self sustaining, but will also change the way the monetary system is used. The standard of living will be so high, and so luxurious, and people will be able to pursue the highest things in life. If they wish to relax, it wouldn't be berated at all, because there would be so many options to do any number of things, and money will be used to enrich their experiences rather than being stuck in a survival mode. People would have more meaningful lives, have better relationships, and could travel with ease. Commerce would still exist, but it will be more of an extra thing. There would still be a mixture of regulated capitalism and socialized things, with lots of choices because different persons have different needs, and some need competition where as others do not.   Everyone could chose any number of things tat work for them, and change as frequently as they wanted.

Hunger would end, poverty would end, and everything would become a Renaissance.


Everything will already be heading into an automated robotic private sector anyway, and this project was meant to be the solutions to implement for that municipal transition. And, the people will have a lot of say, and interaction with the process.

However, the main antagonist will come at the project, placing it in jeopardy even tho' it's already paid for, and use propaganda, and smear tactics. He's greed driven, pompous, arrogant, and rude.


As for a number of design elements I'd wanted for these gardens, a key feature was making things functional, but also decorative, and pleasing to the eyes. Many green technologies are often jeered for being "eye sores" however, ancient technologies like windmills were once also viewed this way, and now seen as quaint, or charming.

I wanted windmills and wind turbines to be decorative, beautiful, and perhaps even whimsical, while also being practical, functional, safe, and unbreakable.



I had seen several styles of more decorative windmills and wind turbines this year, but I only have these simple model references here. I could see a number of ways to use structures like these in decorative motifs, with varying colors, patterns, and in different sizes to the point where it could be a cultural thing rather than a utilities only thing. I don;t like the idea of ONLY, White, Black, or bland metallic colors.

Regarding Hügelkultur Application into Permaculture Design:

This is one of my FAVORITE aspects of permaculture is that it can incorporate nearly ANYTHING within a balanced system design. Usually Hügelkutur is seen as "messy", ugly, untidy, unsightly, or too rugged looking. But, that's because permaculture farmers aren't horticulturalists.
Actually, I have several concepts for incorporating hügelkulture RIGHT into the buildings using gorgeous design-work for the maximal aesthetically pleasing view, but also to maximum shade crops, sunny crops, regulating temperature, and even the water table or watershed. This is so versatile, that the applications for this are ENDLESS, and once a proper balance is worked out it could easily sustain its self for generations.

Things that come to mind are re-purposing skyscrapers, old unused factories, unused spent mines, whole city blocks will become "Food Forests" and meal times will become much like Chinese holidays in that people will look forward to leaving the home/house/apartments and meeting their neighbors outside to share cooking, eating, live entertainment or exercise.  The experiences will go beyond the old classical Chinese Scholar's Gardens but incorporate a variety of urban cultures, and  massive exchange of ideas, creativity, problem solving, etc. And, anyone could easily visit other neighborhoods and interactively exchange anything.

These simple basic concepts could be incorporated in a vast number of ways, and methods to maximize output.

Picture the most perfect and most beautiful place you would, or could ever want to live in. No one would EVER in their right mind want to live in a life that force a "maximin" because that would be forced poverty, and a low standard of living. You would want to live at the maximum. But that would mean you would have the most choices, the most opportunities, and the best chances at even creating new ones, your own ones, or even helping others.

One gripe about permaculture Design is that it's ugly, or messy. But, many gardens are beautiful. There's NO reason to assume that ALL beautiful gardens could have no functionality, nor is there a reason to assume that all functional gardens must be messy, or ugly.

Think also a moment: If YOU were a wealthy person, whom had your wealth managed and sustainable, how would you live? Wouldn't you live sustainable?But, wouldn't you ALSO live at the maxium comfort you could possibly have? Would you provide the best, and most comfortable of choices, experiences, and circumstances for yourself, your children, your family, those you care about, etc.? You would. Many times when people often argue against a society of a higher standard of living they go out of their way to repeat stories about how Communism didn't work, or "the projects", or that people need struggles... and yet the very wealthy often have whole generations of people whom have extravagance just handed to them which they'd never earned, and yet often feel entitled to everything and also to take away from everyone else.

Tho' you may NOT need extravagance, a high quality standard of living, one that gives the bets options to all is actually a much better society because it has far more advantages than those whom ONLY lived forced onto the maximin.

Human history, and prehistory, has humans living in tribes or villages, and everyone in the tribe operated for the good of that tribe, or village. Agriculture however, caused a huge amount of inequality, slavery, and imbalance.

 Is it wrong for a richard to want to provide the best for his own personal family and self interests?

Because those whom would argue AGAINST providing for all in this way, would do this themselves for their own selfish reasons, to feed their ego's selfishness, and greed for power.

Yet, for all people, like the ancient villages and tribes, whom are a civilization, it makes NO SENSE to not utilize all resources and knowledge for the betterment of the societies. This is human nature, and we are also part of nature.


Fictional Rivendell: 

 
 Imagine a high tech, absolutely stunningly gorgeous, and breathtaking town, or city, or neighborhood much like the Tolkien fictional Rivendell.

There is no reason to assume that YOU do not deserve to live in such a beautiful place.  The color of your skin does not matter, your parentage does not matter.

Imagine a world in which you lived in a place like this, but permacultured, and absolutely breathtaking! You could visit other towns, and cities at your leisure. Everything was paid for, the energy, the transportation, you could spend your money, or save your money. AND, your life's work wouldn't be ONLY driven by money unless you wanted it to be. You would never have to take a job you didn;t want unless you wanted extra money. Or, you could live comfortably, with several options, and do whatever is actually meaningful to you in your life. you could actually participate in your community at will, because you had the time. You could take vacations, or trade and sap seeds or plants, or fruits from your home gardens.




The possibilities are endless, and if something doesn't work, you could figure out why, fix it, of find something better. 

here are some old styles of gardens that were enjoyed by wealthy folks in human history's past


Cultural Ideological Design such as a Scholar's Garden:


Moroccan Gardens

Terrace Crops to maximize space:

There are so many ways to utilize so many ideas, concepts, and things that already are proven to work.

We could all actually be living a better life RIGHT NOW. A better today, a better tomorrow, a better world, and better life.

But, you cannot understand it from your current way of thinking.

All of your fears are ones told to you to keep you in your place.

That is why this story is so important to me.
I wanted to show everyone that they took the WRONG PATH.

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Lively Mori Sketch

I started classes at UMASS, but it was HELL. I had a number of medical issues which hampered everything, until I had to drop out of nearly everything. But, I kept the video class and my Work Study job.

Then, to make matters more absurd, my daughter had a life threatening condition and had to get a double blood transfusion, so we spent the entire weekend and most of Monday at The Tufts Floating Hospital in Boston.

I almost took her to the emergency room on Friday night, and she was slowly bleeding out to oblivion.... So, in order to cope with the entire nerve wracking situation despite the nerve wracking month of anxiety, insomnia, and severe depression I grabbed my sketchbook.

And this Mori sketch decided to sketch its self out onto my paper... it changed a number of times before it became this. I tried to keep it simple... I actually lost a lot of interest in it about halfway through, but Instagram seemed to like it somewhat.

But, Id already been on a SciFi futuristic kick the past few weeks, and as I was almost halfway doen with this sketch, I was already yearning for futuristic SciFi n Cyber Punk stuff, which was strange because I had been REALLY feeling this when I'd started it.


I could easily see this as an "Eyewitness" short from my other series revolving around mostly Lively. I could probably go several different directions with this, but especially if I had the right song or music.

However, I'm not so sure it;s really "fresh" or new, and probably is too similar to other things... I'm guessing... afew things come to mind...

if I were to get "Eyewitness" off the ground the way I want it to be, and perhaps is a fan-base liked this concept enough, I might actually create this as something...
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Saturday, July 9, 2016

High Resolution Djehkäujaa Doodles July 2016 001

Some recent rough sketches, concept art, and practes doodles of Djehkäujaa.

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
©2016 Kandice Kathleen Zimbleman 






Updated this one:

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Friday, July 8, 2016

Djehkäujaa Singing Song Fragment via Snapchat

I did some rough doodles of Djehkäujaa today since the weather got cold (yes it's JULY) and my internet is NOT working correctly!








Here's The Rough sketches:
Then on Snapchat, they have a feature that allows you to superimpose a facial image over your face. SO, I accidentally tapped it, and it automatically put Djehkäujaa there! I actually really liked it, so I did a rendition of her singing the dragon song I wrote for her in my story/film/motion-picture.





The original demos of the song (my vocals):


Original rough demos of the song/melody via iPhone synthesizers:



©2016 Copyright 
Kandice Kathleen Zimbleman
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED


 I don't particularly care for my vocal for Djehkäujaa. I think my vocal is more for Lively than her.

Actually, I would prefer a vocal more like the beloved late Melanie Thornton or Melodie Sexton. I also like Rozalla.



Melanie Thornton (vocals):







Melodie Sexton (vocals):



Rozalla:


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Wednesday, May 4, 2016

Djehkäujaa Humanoid Zeppelin Vintage Storyboards Concepts 002

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
Kandice Kathleen Zimbleman ©2016

Djehkäujaa Humanoid Zeppelin Vintage Storyboards Concepts 002

Like I've said, these are not the greatest storyboards. they also don't "flow" "correctly"... plus, my inking skills are terrible.

I had to ink these to shove them into my portfolio, to graduate, only to have them pulled and re-inserted, and pulled out multiple times by jerk, sexist instructors.

back then, inking was the rule... but, also, back then, storyboards were almost entirely done in blue pencil... I don't know whether that's still done today, but it's maddening. Blue is often non-repro and won't scan very well, because scanners and photocopiers have trouble seeing it. they also fade really fast, unlike red pencils which last.


This is my FAVORITE PART of the entire film/story!

This concept is pretty old, and I first started it in 1998. As you can see the 2 sketches above which I drew in Lewes Delaware after I came back to the USA from Germany, but I first dreamed it up around June-July when I was graduating high school in NJ, and then went strait into my Animation Scholarship Summer program at the UARTS in Philadelphia. I actually sketched this on the square, hard covered sketch-books they gave us from the UARTS. I actually started these sketches in Philly, probably in July, but never finished them until August... looks like a few days before I turned 19.

I was supposed to start at AIPH that week, but they screwed up my paperwork and I couldn't start until January... (the story of my life... always delays... and someone screwing something up...)

I actually drew up these rough storyboards/concepts on my own, and not as a school project... but, I had to shove them into being a project, kinda, at portfolio time... hence the reason why they are inked... and I HATE the inking!




Or course I would LOVE to redo them, eventually... however, I don't have the music composed for it yet. I think I will actually incorporate 2 songs here.

The first little song bit will be short and light, probably THIS SONG [demo]:


But, HERE are the Lyrics I WROTE for the song I want her to sing.

There's another part after this which I just haven't even storyboarded.

She will briefly meet back up with her dragon pack/flock and it will be a musical dramatic piece, and they will all part. they do all mutually miss her, but she isn't allowed to return yet.

That actually is what really shifts her to be motivated to do the right thing she believes in, and really becomes determined.

However, since the dragons reproached her and caused this, the direction she goes in actually puts a spotlight on her, which goes against their other fundamentalist ideas... So, they will try to lure her back... they'd originally intended it to be punitive and judged her as "not ready to return yet" because she was supposed to be "learning a lesson"... however, she actually learns far beyond their mental framework of thinking, and overcomes that...

They try to stop her from getting involved, and even welcome her back to distract her... but, she evolves beyond it, and sees past the extremes of what was originally meant to be safety and concern, and became stifling. After that, she will be able to shape-shift on her own.

Then, She and Lively can confront the main villain/antagonist.

I want the music to have a distinctly 90s European techno 4/4 beats sound/feel/vibe, but somewhat like a ballad.


I'm not sure whom I would pick to be the singing voice... I would probably want someone whom could sing like the late Melanie Thornton, may she rest in peace.
Love you and miss you Melanie!




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Djehkäujaa Dragon Vintage Storyboards Concepts 001

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

I've finally scanned these old vintage storyboards I did. I did these back when i was in college. the scene ideas had already been in my mind since about 1998, but they really started to become something in 1999 when I was in college in Philadelphia full time.

I learned a lot from an animation teacher, Sam, whom got fired.

Unfortunately, they don't actually "flow" "correctly" the way storyboards are supposed to... So, there's sort of fragmented... if anything, they seem to "cut" much like a music video style of editing would....

But, I want this piece to flow just right. Its especially meaningful to me. Also, this scene is crucial to other plot pivoting points in the story line.

Here is the rough acrylic painting version I just recently did:


And, here's the boards as they currently are:







I will eventually need to redo them.... however, I don't have the music for it composed. I feel that I will NEED that music in order to create the piece effectively. I want a whole song/musical part.



I want a song that is similar to this style, but I want to have something totally new composed:


I want this scene to convey the free spirited fun-loving personality of Djehkäujaa, my dragon character. However, she sneaks away form the pack/flock of the other dragons, whom have become fundamentalist isolationists, whom would frown upon her inter-species relationships/friendships with "silly creatures".

Djehkäujaa's openness in playing with dolphins and other fun-loving playful creatures plays an important part in the story much later on in the story...

There's a reason why the dragons are so rigid and isolationist... but, their stubborn rigidness will backfire... there's a lot of backfiring in this story...


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Friday, April 15, 2016

Acrylic Painting Practice 001



It'd definitely not my best painting work. But, I'm so entirely out of practice. My spouse also threw away decades worth of paint brushes, vintage irreplaceable brushes, and vintage paints/pigments.

I'm also not a fan of painting on rough canvas, I like smoother ones, or illustration board... but, for landscape paintings I think either canvas paper, or canvas pages are good.


Here's the first try:


But, I really hated it. I went through hours upon hours for days worth of researching references.

I also was frustrated with my crappy quality brushes, paints/pigments, and my spouse's annoying compulsive need to feel in control over everything just killed and/or "interrupted my creative flow".

I wish art worked like a clock... but, it doesn't... not ur real art (the stuff ur not employed to do which had a different motive in being created).

When it comes to PAINTING I like to have a nice set up, that's all set up, free, and open, secure, and stable to flow... if that makes sense to you, GOOD. If not, don't know what else to tell you...

The act of setting up, and putting away, is cumbersome, annoying, meticulous, and drains me... so, I'll either get obsessed with every friggin detail of that, or get FED UP with all of that, that I become reckless, irritable, irritated, and drained from doing that, that it bothers my process.

As an artist, my spouse is the exact polar opposite, and I HATE IT.

So, I finally went back to try fixing up and repainting it after checking who knows how many styles of painting techniques FOR JUST CLOUDS, 2 days later...

The constant pestering me to PAINT PAINT PAINT "ARE YOU GONNA PINT?" or "WHEN ARE YOU GONNA PAINT?" was just so unbearably irritating and pressurizing, plus the fact that I ALSO STILL HAVE A LUNG INFECTION, and I WANT TO GO BACK TO THE GYM which I paid out big dollars to get a membership to, have massive panic over getting diabetes since I'm getting older, and him PESTERING THE SHIT out of my to GO TO THE GYM that I don't understand WHY HE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND! Also, in his mind, he thinks he's being helpful, supportive, etc...

When i first GOT my gym membership I was SO HAPPY! I was pestering HIM to drive me EVERY DAY, then I GOT SOME VIRUS, and just when I was recovering from it, I got sick again even worse 3 days later!

I'm so FED UP with poverty. It's like poverty is a disease its self!

AND, since OI was sick, I couldn't apply for jobs, because I had no voice, and had puss coming out of me, and coughing. HOW long do u need to be married to a person to finally "get it" that I HEAL SLOW when it comes to respiratory illnesses???? Plus, add onto that the INSANE weather, the blizzards, and the perpetual cold, arctic winds, and deep freezes we just had! I can;t even go outside! The windchill is too cold! I'm an asthmatic. But, he will reak the fuck out when the kid has a toy that MIGHT agitate her asthma, or get up early in the morning to warm up the car, so she might not get an asthma problem... WTF?

Anyways, I went back 2 days later, and reworked it... this time I just fell back on some color theory... I couldn;t really get the painting to look like I wanted in my mind, but when I tried working with the colors based on the limited palet I have, and went with the color theory, it looked/felt a bit batter.



Since he was being such a snit over my paints being set up at the table, and I'm guessing it offended his ego's extended sense of control perceptions of his reality... I dunno... I just don't friggin' feel like fighting... because if I start fighting, I'm bringing the house down... and it's not worth it.

Also, my university application had some hick-ups which he also wants to be micro manager of, like I'm some helpless idiot child...

So, I moved it to the corner of the room where my daughter's computer used to be.

But, it's such an awkward spot, that I can't feel myself always wanting to go there...


I started another painting... then let it dry... But, I kinda "lost my vision" and lost my mojo...

Strangely, I actually felt the urge to work on it tonight... but, he kept saying he wanted to work in that corner tonight... 4-5 hours have already passed as I write this and he still hasn't...

I wanted to practice some clouds, or try some different ideas... but, I can't see them anymore...

I was wanting to do some scenes from my old concept storyboards.


But, my story concepts are kind of evolving... the fantasy aspect of it, is actually going a bit further now in my mind...

And, I think I want perhaps a Binary solar system, and extra satellites (moons) in the skies.

I keep seeing it in my mind that way.... and, it looks prettier each time I see it.

I need/want more "weird" and kind of strange, but beautiful.... 



Here's some weird inspirational references:


I went through a lot of stuff on DeviantART and put some stuff in 1 of my folder in my Favorites.

I also have a lot of stuff I found, and put into my FAVORITES on Flickr, including clouds, aerial, wide angle, dawn and dusk.

I pretty much know the gist of what I want, and sometimes its very clear, and other times its vague. Trying to get it just right, or getting it more well planned and thought out is a process I'm still trying to work out. I also don't have the music I want.

 Some weird old 90s stuff from my teenage-hood:


I like this... its kinda old and dated, but I still like it. But, I don't want my story/film to look like this. I have my own ideas. Not interested in a beach scene. Nope. But, it has that "weird" and beautiful aspect I like.

Also, even tho' I utterly LOVE this song, it's not the music style I want for this scene either.

This is closer to what style I want, but I want to create a new original musical piece (BTW also 90s):




I've been trying to find an old vintage cable TV commercial for the Sci-Fi Channel from the '90s with the geese and the weird planets in the sky... But, I can never, ever find it. :(






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